Conservative Hyperbole

Life has once again intruded its ugly face. Alas. On the plus side, my blogging may now become more concentrated, instead of long and rambling. (We'll see.)

Anyway, it's been a while, so I hope readers will forgive me if some of the links in this fisking digest are a tad dated.

First up we have Kevin McCullough. Loyal blog readers will remember Kevin as the crackhead that says liberals hate "real" men and Christianity, want kids to have as much sex and abortions as possible (sounds like a fun weekend there), and actually compared being pro-choice to applauding the massacre at Virginia Tech. For some reason, no one has yet to get as righteously pissed off about Kevin's bullcrap as Michael Savage's or Glenn Beck's. I can't say I'm all too broken up about that, as it suggests that, A- no one is really listening to him, and B- that once again I am on the cutting edge of finding asshats on the internet.

Anyway, here's some of Kevin's best recent moments of opening his pie-hole and letting the sweet pressurized bullcrap spew all over people's screens.

- Kevin talking about Obama's "gaffes":

When 84% of the American people, according to the AOL Hot Seat weekend poll, think a joke you cracked on late night television was either tone-deaf/insensitive or worse yet flat-out offensive then you might think you have problems. (Heh who are we kidding? You do! You do!) Just because Britain's largest daily newspaper has a top ten gaffe reel assembled, and online before your presidency is barely 60 days old, you might believe that you're the laughingstock of serious members of the world community of leaders. (Again, likely, you're right.) And when you take the time to address an Islamic Republic via YouTube (after they had been burning you in effigy for weeks) with a plea to come to the table of intellects and have a philosophical wine and cheese night about how the world looks in your unicorn-excretion of utopia, but can still hear the ripple of laughter from Tehran five days later, you might even wonder if you deserve it. (Again, batting a thousand on this one champ!)

Now if these elements composed the entire universe of faux pas committed in your time in office then you might even be able to withstand them.

Kevin seems to be willfully ignoring Bush's many, many, years of making a complete ass out of himself, not to mention all of us, to the world. If the worst thing Obama does in his administration is make a stupid (and yes, it was quite stupid) throwaway comment about special needs children, I think we will all be able to count ourselves lucky. You're grasping at straws and you know it, Kev.

But if these embarrassments followed things like giving the Prime Minister of Britain twenty-five DVD's that were not even compatible with European media players, or accepting priceless gifts from fellow heads of state that were made out of the very historical relics that loosed the chains holding freedom from people like you from being able to achieve your dreams, then it just begin to looks tacky.

Hang on, how do you manage to blame Obama for accepting a gift offered by another country's head of state? If you object to Brown giving him a pencil holder carved from an anti-slavery ship, it seems like your beef should be with Brown and the Brits who decided a historical monument should be made into chochkies. Should he have sent it back and caused a diplomatic incident with the UK instead? Why do I get the impression you wouldn't have been too fond of that, either? To say nothing of the not-too-subtle implications that Obama should have been extra happy (or mad? I can't tell) to get a piece of the Gannet since he's black?

But the truth is Mr. President you're not tacky.
You're cheap. Selfish. You bathe in arrogance. And your words sans teleprompter are cruel, cutting, and more times than not confusing.
I personally have received e-mail, tweets, and MySpace/facebook messages from hundreds of parents in the past 48 hours since you ridiculed retarded kids, some of whom could easily whoop you in any number of sports. For you to do it only the day before World Down's Syndrome Day is an even nicer touch. I've heard from families who have down syndrome children, one family that had three, a number of messages from families that just identified their children as challenged or disabled, and some who told me that their child's diagnosis--like my own son--was one of mental or physical retardation

Again, no denial that the joke was in poor taste-- as have been plenty of comments from plenty of other politicians on both sides of the aisle. I can't put it better than this mother.

Back to Kev.

You do not rule a center-left nation Mr. President, and that's why you're feeling the pain and discomfort at present. In fact you don't "rule" anything at all. We the American people have lent you the authority and the responsibility of administrating our nation's concerns for a brief period of time. We rule you. You work for us.
In order to improve the situation one of two things must change.
You must move center right, or be prepared to lose in 2012 by a margin larger than your win in 2008.
There are more of us than there are of you. So I'd take the hint, and the sooner the better.

I'm not sure how Kevin squares the "more of us than you" with the election results. Fuzzy math? Angry evangelicals refusing to vote for "too-moderate" McCain? Who knows. Anyway, I like the fact that his argument boils down to, "There are more of us than you. Don't bother to count, just trust us. Anyway, be more like us or you'll lose the next election. Do it!"

- Kevin whining about the tea party people not being taken seriously:

Note to Rupert Murdoch: Janeane Garofalo your d-lister on "24" needs to have her mouth washed out with soap, she should be spanked, and her parents should be called to take her home early today. She has slandered your broadcast network, doesn't seem to understand the difference between your news operation and the entertainment company that writes her paycheck, and is perhaps one of the more vile human beings to ever call herself an American.

The angry and ignorant woman slandered the more than 1 million plus people who took part in the planning of, the carrying out of, and the participation of the Tea Parties that have sent the message with clarity and boldness to Washington DC that the taxation and spending will stop. In addition to that she lies a lot.
Garofalo continued with the sort of inexplicable obsessive commentary carried exclusively on MSNBC that continually referred to the sexual act of dipping testicles into one's mouth. The act, known as tea-bagging, was banter for MSNBC host Rachel Maddow--who seems to prefer women, as well as the femininely challenged Garofalo among others.

Damn those liberals with their personal attacks. Bastards!

So what has Democratic party leaders, the President of the United States, liberal congressional power brokers, two failed Air-America man hating talk show hosts, and the national liberal media so bent out of shape?

Maybe that disengenuous Fox News douchebags claiming to just be "covering" the events were actually MC-ing them? The fact that the Tea Party supporters keep claiming bipartisanship while skewing heavily right (who are the media personalities spreading the word about it, who are the speakers at the events, who are the organizations putting out press and trying to rally the "bipartisan" crowd)? Or how about the fact that pro-TPers are trying to act like several hundred thousand people (the most generous estimate is half a million) coming together to protest... something?... on a single day qualifies as a second American Revolution, while the same "alternative media" has continually done everything in their power to minimize and ignore sizeable anti-war protests taking place since 2002, and which in the 4 months leading up to the actual war included an estimated 36 million participant around the world. Maybe little stuff like that.

Americans began taking their nation back from bad policies in both political parties this last week. How were they rewarded for it? With veiled threats and intimidations from Janet Napolitano and the armed goons she now commands! Accusing, then not apologizing, and then accusing again gun owners, pro-life people of faith, the 80% of Americans that believe marriage should not be redefined, and even our returning service men and women from Iraq and Afghanistan as "potential terrorists", the party in power wishes to silence the opposition.

Best part about this: that conservatives are ignoring that the DHS also put out a study about left-wing crazies in January (strangely enough, no one heard about it, possibly because no mainstream liberals decided to go on the warpath about being slandered in it). Darn, there goes another anti-govt. talking point.

Keep at it America. We are not slaves to their leftist vision of what America would become.
Just keep in mind that the more we win on substance the more they will scream like stuck pigs.
Then again some pulled pork on July 4th does sound mighty tasty!

So... this super-patriotic Christian bozo wants to kill his political opponents and... eat us? WWJD, indeed.
- Kevin on Obama removing job protections for physicians refusing to provide abortions:

This week President Obama exercised for the first time a policy decision that shares a trait held in common with Adolf Hitler.
President Obama wants [doctors] performing abortions, whether they believe it to be an immoral thing or not. And while the comparisons to Hitler are made either on eugenist or racist grounds--but you cannot escape the impact.
In the 1930's and 40's as Hitler wished to use his captive “lesser-humans” for "experiments" in his final solution. He too forced doctors to do things they did not wish to do. Everything from injecting living humans with horrible chemicals to see the effect, to trying differing grades of poisonous gases in what eventually became death chambers. These doctors, who were purveyors of those things that helped save lives, were suddenly forced to use the medical knowledge they had of death--to end them.
In today’s scenario Obama wants doctors to exterminate “lesser humans” for the purpose of immediate solutions to his social experiment. And he wishes them to do so regardless of whether or not they are compelled by the higher call of morality on an individual basis.

Put another way Obama's policy shift would be the equivalent of forcing those who believed slavery to be immoral and never even owned slaves, to begin purchasing them, beating them, raping them, and exploiting them.

Back up. I know somewhere in here you're trying to make a point about not considering a fetus to be a human being equivalent to the lack of rights and status for black people, but what does beating and raping slaves have to do with anything? Do you actually spend time thinking these lines up, or do you just sniff some paint until visions appear in your head and you scribble it down on a napkin?

This policy shift that Obama has attempted to slide under the radar screen is grossly immoral, and doctors should disobey it and run a medical mutiny against the administration if it becomes law.
The President did this, as he has done most things since coming to power as a pure, pragmatic, political move to pay off the campaign favors of those special interest groups he railed against during his campaign. In this case the abortion industry which is increasingly under attack from the next generation who understand the taking of innocent life to be horrific.
As to all the comparisons that the left made in 8 years of the previous administration, they never once had such a clear comparison that so vividly laid out the exact parallel between the dictator who thought it moral to gas people in chambers, and now a President who believes that live babies should be left to starve in soiled utility closets of hospitals, even if it violates the voice of God telling the doctor to do otherwise.

So, hang on, pro-life people are only like Hitler if they're in a position of power over physicians? Does that mean that the people that challenged Bush's protections in federal court were "potential" Hitlers, depending on if they won or not?

- Kevin continuing the Hitler theme:

Anyone who spends time reading message boards related to online news articles today can see things that are readily self evident. One of these self evident truths is that today's political and theological left still very much represent the racism they did when they initiated a secret society named the Ku Klux Klan. They do so in the policies they argue for and more importantly in the criticism they level against those who are brave enough to take action.
Their anti-war extremism is one of the most telling signs.

Really? Help me out here, can you explain the similarities between the Confederate veterans who founded the KKK and today's political and theological left, especially the anti-war "extremists" as you call them? I'm a tad stumped.
Kevin's best evidence? Some cherry-picked talkbacks to the Jerusalem Post from people angry about Israel bombing Gaza. For some reason Kevin lumps them all together as liberals, even though one of them identifies himself as a libertarian. Maybe he's just looking at the prefix?
Back to the KKK.

When the party of left-wing America founded the Ku Klux Klan they did so because they wished to seize the rights of an entire people group, intimidate them into voting for the candidates they decided, and for anyone so messy as to get in the way they became people who did not deserve to live. One of the sitting members of the Unites States Senate who participated in Klan activity still sits seated by the same party that founded the Klan. His name is Robert Byrd. Power--even if gained through ruthless means--was the absolute objective to the Klan, and the Democrats who founded it.

Of course, Byrd's also apologized for his KKK activity numerous times. Incidentally, how many other Democratic Congresspeople are past or present KKK members? What's that you say? Sorry Kev, my hood must be stuck in my ear... how many zs are in zero?
Ok, so there are no other Grand Kyklopses in Congress that Kevin can point huge, 50-year out of date fingers at, but not to worry! He can always go back to the "sins of the father." It's biblical and everything!

The same historical parallel could be made by the ruthless rise of Adolph Hitler and his hatred based upon a person's race, skin color, or disability... It should be pointed out that assisting him towards that goal was the patriarch of the newly revived (with granddaughter Caroline's Senate bid) Kennedy legacy. Joe Kennedy the father of Robert, John, and Edward sought to convince those at the end of World War I and through the duration of World War II that U.S. involvement by force was wasted effort, a task we could not make impact in, and ultimately the morally wrong thing to do.

Yup, damn those pro-Nazi Kennedys. Thank God they were the only prominent Americans associated with those wackos, right? And as long as we're blaming politicians for what their fathers did in WWII...
Kevin claims that liberals "like" racist killers because they protest war without protesting all the bastards in the world, for instance, condemning Israel for attacking Gaza without criticizing the Palestinians for killing Israelis. Kevin, all I can say is I strongly suggest you read some left-wing Israeli blogs. Believe me, these people are keenly aware of Palestinian failings, they just don't think that bombing the crap out of them is necessarily the way to fix them. I know it might be hard to hear but shockingly, liberals, just like conservatives, are indeed capable of being opposed to more than one thing at a time.