Thursday, May 29, 2008

Bible Fun on Dr. Phil

Yesterday was a fun day to watch daytime TV. I got to choose between Jerry Springer's ex-bodyguard Steve "Don't you dare call me Dude" Wilkos and Oprah's homeboy Dr. Phil, who has about as much good taste as he does hair. Both Steve and Phil were doing shows on family pedophilia, but Phil was pulling out all the stops when it came to weird twists. Check this out- you've got a grown woman whose seventy-ish father admits to molesting her as an infant ("but just that one time") and who she accuses of molesting her some more and, she suspects, her young son, too. A lie detector shows the father/grandfather is being "deceptive." As if that wasn't enough, the father/grandfather is on a major religion trip and is claiming that there is some Divine purpose in him being crucified on national television.

I don't know if Phil needed to fill time, or what, but part of the show included, for some odd reason, bringing a pastor in to talk to the grandfather about the religious quackery he's muttering about under his breath. IMO, this would be a questionable move anyway, (both in terms of taste as well as mental health/family services protocol) but what I really like is where they go with it:

Dr. Phil: Now, also joining us is a clergyman, Pastor Aaron James is with us, and I asked you to sit with us, because, Pastor, you were here last time. I invited you to be here last time because Al was quoting a lot of scripture and telling us how he was directed by God in these matters... You have been quoting Malachi, "He will restore hearts of fathers to their children and hearts of children to their fathers." What's your point?

Al: God is restoring our family and no man can stand in the way. God is doing something here and no one will stand in the way.

Dr. Phil: I don't consider myself a Bible scholar but I don't believe that's what that means. Pastor, help us out here?

Pastor: When you look at this, the study of Malachi, I am confused when I heard that verse because in no way does it relate to this situation at all. It's Malachi prefiguring John the Baptist, announcing the return of Jesus Christ. That's what it's talking about.

Duh! Thanks for setting us straight, Pastor. We wouldn't want to get confused and start misinterpreting the Bible for our own purposes. From there it's just a hop skip and a jump to molesting your grandchildren. Remember that the next time someone starts talking to you about Biblical Criticism. (Gateway drug!)

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