Tzvi starts off being pissy because only 35 Jews protested at the UN against a Palestinian state. He then uses this as a springboard to wax idiotic about how this demonstrates a complete lack of Jewish identity in the US. (Because we all know that Jewish identity is predicated on protesting at the UN. That's totally the 614th commandment- I don't care what that fancy-pants philosopher guy said.)
From there, we go deeper into the stupid pool. In case you're not convinced about the protesting-as-Jewish-litmus-test thing, fear not, Tzvi's got another test that's even more fool-
to spread the message of aliyah, I recently started to make friends on Facebook. There, I discovered a very noteworthy thing. As everyone knows, Facebook lovers can write all about themselves and their interests on their “walls.” (How very different that wall is from ours.) There, they can tell all of their friends about their favorite books and movies and television shows, music and philosophy. Now here is the interesting thing. All of my new Facebook friends tend to be avid supporters of Israel and obviously proud to be Jews. They post all kinds of news stories, and blogs, and Youtube clips about Israel with great devotion and passion. But by and large, when you glance at their preferences in movies and music and books, they like all of the American garbage that the goyim love – the stupid celebrities and rock stars, and idiot TV shows, and sci-fi movies, and trash thrillers – all kinds of names, and groups, and books, and movies that I’ve never heard of, thank G-d.Oh my God, he's right! How dare Jews enjoy things? Our holy ancestors didn't have any fun and look how great they turned out. Why do you think they invented things like gefilte fish and Slivovitz? To make them extra-dour, of course. And don't think the ban on fun is just in Israel. American Jews are doing their best to quash it here in the states, too. When it comes to working hard to not enjoy themselves, the couple from American Gothic has nothing on us.
But hang on, it gets better. After crapping all over US Jews for having the temerity to like TV, movies, and crappy books, Tzvi's next column announced that he was offering a fantastic prize to his millionth reader (not that he cares about silly worldly matters like popularity or anything). Can you guess what it is?
I am pleased to announce that the prize will be a copy of what may be the greatest Jewish novel ever written, “Tevye in the Promised Land,” for which I won the Israel Ministry of Education Award for Creativity and Jewish Culture.That's right, pathetic Diaspora exiles, make sure to burn all the crap you actually like, because if you're lucky enough, you just might get a free copy of Tzvi's kick-ass book. (Just thinking about leafing through its pages makes me go all squishy inside.)
Forget "Hollywood to the Holy Land." In honor of his millionth hit, I think Tzvi should change his blog name to better reflect his message. How about "Great Balls of Chutzpah?"