Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Long Time Coming

"Trephenation." Because in this time of economic uncertainty, drilling a hole in your skull just makes sense.

"Obama Gematria." You know, that's one thing I don't think I've yet explored. Thanks.

"Failed Messiah." Wrong blog. Jerk.

"Ashley Murray." Who?

"Finding my basherte in Boston." Um, good luck?

"Photo Friar Beard." Ah, but where does the beard end and the friar begin?

"Narishkeit." Yeah, we're pretty much ground zero for that.

"Zayde made us laugh." Yep, right up until he went to jail. Then, not so much.

"Songs of the Irgun." "Hail the mighty Begin, he stands so straight and tall..." What, militia groups take poetic licenses all the time.

"Abir Warrior Arts." Can't talk about it. Made a solemn vow. But you know who might be able to help you out?

"Abir is bullshit martial art." This must be what it's like to have children. *Satisfied chuckle*

"Turban of Yosef Chaim." One of the lesser known artifacts in the Hidden Temple.

"Words for posthumous plaque." "Here lies plaque."

"Yemeni funny." If you though Sefer Hasidim was funny, just wait until you check out Yihhyah Qaffah's Milhamot Hashem. Freaking hysterical.

"Crusades Cossacks." Not to be confused with the Cossack Crusade, a short-lived attempt at liberating Jerusalem by way of Ukraine that ended after about a month when the entire army dropped dead from heat stroke (damn you, fur hats!)

"McCain is a Zionist stooge." No, fool. Metzger's the stooge. Don't you read?

"Did the friar know about the women's baby." I can categorically state that I had NOTHING to do with that woman's baby.

"Crank that Jew." I don't know what this is, but it can't be good.

"free sex hamoron.com" Either this is the greatest sage ever, or someone misspelled an advertisement for a harmonica.

"buy Benny Hinn the tabernacle." You mean he doesn't already have his own? Slacker.

"Circumcision bumps." Worst birthday present ever.

"Jewish faith wearing hats young boys." Actually, the correct form is, "Young Jewish faith boys wearing hats." Stupid.

"Da Vid San Francisco Medical Research Foundation." Why don't we just deport him to Alcatraz and see what he does with it? I predict within a day he will be found in a fetal position curled up inside the water tower.

"Friar wears a cross." You lying bastard. Stop ruining my rep.

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