Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Pick Your Battles

One of Abbot Yid's favorite aphorisms (right after "Life Sucks, Then You Die") is "Pick Your Battles." Growing up, this meant that I was not supposed to threaten to run away if asked to clean my room, or contemplate circulating petitions to protest too much homework at school.

Clearly, however, someone who hasn't heard of this is Dr. Samuel Blumenfeld, over at WND. Because he's really mad about something. What might that something be? Let's find out:

It seems that the United States Postal Service is so anxious to prove that the United States is no longer a Christian nation, that it has produced a whole bunch of stamps for the "Holiday Season" that puts Christianity in its place – as a minority faith among several other faiths. They are so anxious to be politically correct that – who knows? – the USPS might someday be called the United Nations Postal Service.

Got that? Dr. Sam is mad about STAMPS. Stamps that dare to point out that Christianity is not the only religion on earth, much less in the US. Those devious, fact-observing bastards.

They've issued stamps for Secular Humanists, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, two Islamic holidays and, lastly, Christmas. Sorry, Buddhists, no stamps for you, at least not yet. Back in the old days, the Christmas stamp was the only stamp issued for Christmas, the joyous festival that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ all over the globe.

Now, of course, Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights, just happens to coincide with the Christmas season, so the Hanukkah stamp pictured with a menorah seems appropriate. After all, Jesus was Jewish.

Wow, lucky us! It's a good thing, too, since apparently connections to Jesus are the only things that "earn" you a stamp. Take that, Sikhs!

But the secular stamps deny the existence of God altogether. To atheists and Secular Humanists, this time of year is celebrated as the Winter Solstice.

Really? I thought Pagans celebrated Solstice, and secular humanists celebrated... not much?

Yet the four secular stamps issued by the USPS have a definite Christmas flavor about them: a reindeer, a snowman, a ginger cookie and a toy soldier. The reindeer reminds us of Santa Claus' delivery system. The ginger cookie and toy soldier remind us of the gifts children enjoy at Christmas.

Now you're trying to have it both ways. First we hear about how Christmas is about Christ, not secular crap like cookies and Santa. Now when the Post Office acts accordingly, you get pissy. Also, who is defining these as "Secular?"

Nevertheless, these secular themes seem to be acceptable to the administrators of our anti-Christian public schools where the time-old traditional greeting, Merry Christmas, and all of those lovely Christmas carols are now forbidden.

Lovely like school prayer was lovely? It's easy for the majority culture to bitch about how there's nothing wrong with pushing their culture on other people. Really easy. Instead of bemoaning the lovely carols, why don't you ask members of minority groups how they feel about them?

The Kwanzaa stamp depicts an African family dressed in tribal costume. Apparently, African-Americans want to remember and honor their noble heritage. The word Kwanzaa means "firstfruit" in Swahili. The weeklong festival was created by Ron Karenga, a black nationalist who considered Christmas to be a white man's holiday. It is celebrated from Dec. 26 to Jan. 1 each year. So actually, African-American children can celebrate both Christmas and Kwanzaa and get double gifts!

Those greedy children! Incidentally, you can celebrate any holiday you want, Dr. Sam. What's your point? Oodles of Jews celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah.

Blah Blah Blah... Dr. Sam is mad G.W. Bush issued a Kwanzaa greeting in 2004... says the "African" principles Karenga came up with, particularly "cooperative economics and collective work" are code words for Socialism... Now he's bringing up Karenga's prison term, apparently for the benefit of any readers who have never Googled Kwanzaa before... (all three of them).

Wait, what's this? Ooh, Dr. Sam is going after the Islamic stamps now. Way to take on an unpopular target, oh brave one!

The Muslim stamp, with its stylized Arabic calligraphy, was ironically first issued on Sept. 1, 2001, just ten days before Islamic terrorists flew two airliners into the Twin Towers in New York and an airliner into the Pentagon, killing about 3,000 people in just a few hours. I wonder how many of the victims who jumped from the upper floors of the Twin Towers would have appreciated the Postal Service's magnanimous tribute to the religion that caused their deaths.

Nice, there's certainly nothing loaded or exploitational about that ridiculous statement. Hey, Dr. Sam, tons of horrible things have happened to Jews on Easter for hundreds of years, yet I don't think you'll be hearing about us protesting Easter stamps anytime soon. Just saying. Besides, are you suggesting that terrorism in the name of a religion should disqualify that religion's holidays from getting a stamp? How might you go about enforcing this standard across the board?

The letters EID on the stamp mean festival, and the stamp commemorates two Islamic festivals: the end of Ramadan and the willingness of the Prophet Abraham to sacrifice his son Ishmael. Of course, in the Bible it is Isaac, born of Sarah, who was going to be sacrificed, not Ishmael, born of Hagar. But that's just a minor point of difference between biblical religion and the Quran.

Also totally irrelevant to your larger rant about stamps. But then again, so was your bitching about Kwanzaa being a fake holiday.

The last thing the USPS would want to get involved in is a theological dispute. After all, according to the multicultural philosophy that now governs all of our secular cultural thinking, all religious faiths are equally true, which means they are also all equally false. A nation that adheres to that kind of insanity is no longer a nation. It's just a very large crowd of people who don't know what to believe in. So if they believe in nothing, what is there to defend?

Oh cry me a river. What exactly is the alternative, doctor? It's not the government's place, least of all the Post Office, to decide which holidays or religions are true. The Post Office sends your mail, often barely getting that right. Determining religious truth is a bit above their pay grade. Also, "no longer a nation?" Based on what?

Reading this crap is enough to make me want to abolish the Post Office altogether. You know what, that's it, Dr. Sam. You've officially lost your post office privileges. From now on if you want to send mail, you can draw on your own damn stamp.

Incidentally, for the legion fans of Dr. Sam, you'll be happy yo know the illustrious writer has penned other gems of wisdom, such as this ode to Easter from last year. Money-quote:

Actually, there are three calendars intertwined in the American calendar: the Protestant, Catholic and Jewish. But there is one holiday in which the three calendars converge: Easter.

Wow, it just fills me with such a warm feeling... must be all the blood shooting out of my nose.

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