Saturday, April 10, 2010

Cry Baby

We all have a cross to bear in life. Ellis Washington's is being a black Conservative. In some of his columns he seems to see himself as a modern-day Cassandra, doomed to spend his days surrounded by his black peers, who hath not eyes to see. One of Ellis' biggest issues with contemporary black America is the old Conservative chestnut that liberals (including liberal blacks) trot out the race card whenever convenient.

For example:
When people point out Obama's daily inconsistencies on economics, public policy, executive power, Congress, education, his past associates, foreign affairs, the United Nations, it is all covered up, or the liberal pundits in the mainstream media like Hitler's Goebbels or the old Soviet newspaper "Pravda" run interference as Obama's ministers of propaganda, raising outrageous allegations like: "racism," "divisive politics," "trying to keep the black man down" or in the words of Michelle: "Republicans are trying to tear people apart, but Barack is trying to bring people together."
The Gates affair took place on July 21 when one of his neighbors called the police because she was concerned that two men appeared to be trying to break into professor's Gates house by repeatedly hitting against the front door. What turned out to be an innocent mistake on the neighbor's part could have been diffused by Gates when the white police officer came to investigate, but the good professor instantly visualized a race card and played it with all the skill of an Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton or Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson.
Ok, so Ellis doesn't like people playing the race card, got it. So you can imagine my surprise when I read Ellis' column this week, in which he basically throws a hissy fit over the fact that his (predominately black and liberal) church invited Jeremiah Wright to come speak. The really entertaining thing here is Ellis' main issue does not seem to be the fact that he disagrees with Wright, though he clearly does-- rather, it's that he's personally insulted that his pastor doesn't want to give him, the great Ellis Washington, equal time.
Dear Dr. Charles G. Adams,

...I have been a member of Hartford since 1987, for over 23 years, and not once have I ever been asked to give a conservative point of view at any conference, meeting or before the congregation. For 23 years I have given you books, law review articles and op-eds I have written, and not one time did you ever say "thank you" or "Ellis, come to my office. Let's talk about how you can become a greater resource of intellectual diversity at Hartford."
Wow, sounds like you're really... what's the word? I'm thinking of? It's not Conservative, no, it's... oh yeah, obnoxious. If your real issue is intellectual diversity, Ellis, and not tooting your own horn, you shouldn't be focused on whether or not YOU get to speak, or whether or not the pastor reads YOUR books. You're like the equivalent of everyone's least favorite aunt who constantly sends out emails that are all-but-spam.
Rev. Adams, you are the man who married my wife and me on Sept. 11, 1993, and christened my two children in 1997 and 2001. … Is your treatment of me fair and just? I say not!
What. A. Drama. Queen. Yes, Ellis, truly, you are like a second Jesus.
When will the intellectual racism and discrimination against conservative philosophical thought out of the Booker T. Washington tradition be stopped and a fair and balanced exposition of conservative ideas be allowed at your church? How long, Rev. Adams must I wait for justice?
How long must I wait? What are you, trying out for a play? How can you be paid to write, AND host a radio show? This, methinks, boggles the mind!

As you can guess, only one thing will mollify Ellis. A debate, between him and the pastor, in front of everybody. Yes, EVERYBODY! (Incidentally, he's attached a copy of his latest column. You know, because he thought the pastor might want to read it. Also some pictures of his miniature porcelain dog collection, a link to his Twitter feed, and some haiku he's been working on. Just 'cause.)
Will you accept my challenge, Dr. Adams, or will you and Hartford Memorial Baptist Church continue to treat me as … The Spook Who Sat by the Door?
Seriously Ellis, what the hell is wrong with you? Ending your letter with a reference to an obscure book about the CIA brainwashing black youth as assassins? I guess you're trying to make a point, but why choose the oh-so-condescending-Dennis-Miller approach?

Then again, maybe Ellis is on to something here. Perhaps I should try this the next time my Republican Uncles start bitching about Jews being too liberal. Let's see...

"So, in conclusion, I ask that you, the aforementioned Milt and Moe, stop treating me like Scum. After all, I'm no Fiddler On the Roof, playing for your amusement. Cut it out or it'll be Goodbye, Columbus forever... and I'll go join the Yiddish Policeman's Union. Jerks."

Hmm, maybe not.

Amazingly enough, the worst part of this drivel is not Ellis' terrible writing. It is that he places this argument within the context of, not his own enormous ego, or even irritating church politics. What does he blame? Racism. Yeah.

What is intellectual racism? It is the opposite of intellectual diversity and tolerance. It is the paucity of freedom of thought; a repressive ideology that forbids true freedom of speech and freedom of ideas to such a degree as to amount to a de facto disregard or outlawing of all other competing ideas, worldviews or political ideologies.

...The above letter is demonstrative of the fact that intellectual racism is alive and well in America, particularly in big-city black churches, and that the greatest purveyors of intellectual racism are the progressives, socialists and liberal Democrats like President Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel.
Uh HUH. So, when Henry Louis Gates says that white officers arresting him may have had something to do with him being black, he's a demagogue. When Obama supporters point out that some of the rhetoric criticizing him seems to be beyond the pale, they're compared to Nazis and Stalinists. But when Ellis feels persecuted because his pastor DOESN'T WANT TO READ HIS CRAP, it's "liberal racism." (Which doesn't even seem to be a logical neologism, since it doesn't seem to have much to do with race.)

Hey Ellis, here's a clue. It's not about racism. It's about megalomania. Get help.

No comments: