Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Dear Tzvi: Stop talking.

Seriously, Tzvi, I'm about to smack you. Unless, of course, a ninja does it for me.

Richter shmichter. Nature my arse. In seconds, G-d can destroy Japan and Russia and America and all of the arrogant countries of Europe. The earthquake and tsunami was a wake-up lesson for the world – and for us – reminding us that we had better start paying some more serious attention to G-d. He, and He alone, rules the world, and not Japan, Russia, America, and the European Quartet. 
So don’t be afraid my fellow Jews! Don’t be afraid, Bibi! The L-rd G-d of Israel, Master of Heaven and Earth, is on our side! Don’t be afraid of UN threats and boycotts and embargos and Obamas and cut-offs of foreign aid! G-d is our aid. “The Heavens declare the glory of G-d, and the Earth proclaims His praise!” “The power of the L-rd is over the roaring waters!” Sing out O mountains and forests and seas of Japan! The Redemption of Israel is near!
So once again, God shows how great he is by killing thousands of people. And you're saying these are reasons to not be afraid? Incidentally, I love how this is presented as God's revenge on non-Jewish countries for being arrogant. No self-centeredness here at all.

Why Japan, you ask?
Yeah, why?
Why not?
Um... please tell me this is not the new standard for smiting countries. There is at least some quality control in God's department, yes?

Japan, the home of Buddhism, Shinto shrines and spirits, is a bastion of idol worship and idol worshippers, perhaps Number 1 in the world.
And that's clearly worthy of death. You know, Tzvi, that deity of yours winds up looking like more of a bastard every time you mention him. Maybe you should stop.

Incidentally, way to not even try to count. How can you claim with any seriousness that Japan is the "Number 1" bastion of idol worshippers in the world? India has 827 million Hindus. Japan has 127 million people TOTAL. You weren't kidding when you said you were proud your kids don't know anything about the world outside of Israel, were you?
Japan consistently votes against Israel in the UN.
Wait, it's about being anti-Israel? Then when is B'nei B'rak's earthquake due?
Japan was Nazi German’s ally in World War 2.
First of all, the country is called Germany. Second, Japan treated its conquered Jews better than anyone else in Hitler's coalition, refusing, for example, to turn Jews over to the Nazis even when requested. As long as you're justifying punishing people for the sins of their grandfathers, you can at least look up what they actually did.
I could give you a few more reasons why it was a tsunami, just like in the time of Noah and the Flood, but I won’t mention them here.
I understand. This must have taken you, like, hours of pretend-thought. Next time feel free not to bother.


SJ said...

Theodicy is alot of crap. A human being can't be God's psychologist.

Tzipporah said...

Honestly, if you're going to talk about idol worship, enough about Buddhism - let's go after the Hello Kitty devotees.

MIghty Garnel Ironheart said...

Who can know the mind of God? Who can understand how the entire universe works and therefore conclusively say "This is why 'XX' happpened"?
The challenge of Japan isn't to figure out what God was trying to tell us. It's to rise to the challenge of helping the unfortunate souls who lost everything, of proving that humanity was worth creating through acts of kindness.

Friar Yid said...

Garnel- Absolutely. And that's the kind of message from Orthodox Judaism I can get behind.

I really wish I was hearing more stuff like what you're saying, instead of every loony coming out of the woodwork with yet another theory (which assumes, of course, that God only cared about their pet issue) which makes both them and God look like morally bankrupt and compassion-less cretins. Frankly, they are an embarrassment to you guys.

Anonymous said...

Oy. Japan may be the home of Buddhism and blah blah blah, but I noticed quite a few news people who made the comment that the people of Japan were behaving extraordinarily well in the face of the horrible disaster. They were being patient, they were doing what they could, and they were NOT rioting and looting and doing so many of the things that we have seen in "non-idol worshiping" locales.

Seriously, these people who bend the Divine into their own petty images make me want to gouge out my brain with a plastic fork...