Dear Tzvi: Stop talking.

Seriously, Tzvi, I'm about to smack you. Unless, of course, a ninja does it for me.

Richter shmichter. Nature my arse. In seconds, G-d can destroy Japan and Russia and America and all of the arrogant countries of Europe. The earthquake and tsunami was a wake-up lesson for the world – and for us – reminding us that we had better start paying some more serious attention to G-d. He, and He alone, rules the world, and not Japan, Russia, America, and the European Quartet. 

So don’t be afraid my fellow Jews! Don’t be afraid, Bibi! The L-rd G-d of Israel, Master of Heaven and Earth, is on our side! Don’t be afraid of UN threats and boycotts and embargos and Obamas and cut-offs of foreign aid! G-d is our aid. “The Heavens declare the glory of G-d, and the Earth proclaims His praise!” “The power of the L-rd is over the roaring waters!” Sing out O mountains and forests and seas of Japan! The Redemption of Israel is near!

So once again, God shows how great he is by killing thousands of people. And you're saying these are reasons to not be afraid? Incidentally, I love how this is presented as God's revenge on non-Jewish countries for being arrogant. No self-centeredness here at all.

Why Japan, you ask?

Yeah, why?

Why not?

Um... please tell me this is not the new standard for smiting countries. There is at least some quality control in God's department, yes?

Japan, the home of Buddhism, Shinto shrines and spirits, is a bastion of idol worship and idol worshippers, perhaps Number 1 in the world.

And that's clearly worthy of death. You know, Tzvi, that deity of yours winds up looking like more of a bastard every time you mention him. Maybe you should stop.

Incidentally, way to not even try to count. How can you claim with any seriousness that Japan is the "Number 1" bastion of idol worshippers in the world? India has 827 million Hindus. Japan has 127 million people TOTAL. You weren't kidding when you said you were proud your kids don't know anything about the world outside of Israel, were you?

Japan consistently votes against Israel in the UN.

Wait, it's about being anti-Israel? Then when is B'nei B'rak's earthquake due?

Japan was Nazi German’s ally in World War 2.

First of all, the country is called Germany. Second, Japan treated its conquered Jews better than anyone else in Hitler's coalition, refusing, for example, to turn Jews over to the Nazis even when requested. As long as you're justifying punishing people for the sins of their grandfathers, you can at least look up what they actually did.

I could give you a few more reasons why it was a tsunami, just like in the time of Noah and the Flood, but I won’t mention them here.

I understand. This must have taken you, like, hours of pretend-thought. Next time feel free not to bother.