Friday, October 21, 2011

Caution: Blowhards at work

I present a befuddlement in three acts:

Act One- A "post" from Shmuley Boteach's blog pops up in my news feed. I use the term loosely, because rather than his usual lazy pattern of just reposting his op-ed columns, this time Shmuley opted to plug a book signing at a Barnes and Noble where he will be whoring his latest book and reminding everyone how great he is (in three weeks, no less, just in case you wanted to put it on your calendar). I notice that in said book signing plug Shmuley chose to call himself "America's Rabbi."

Act Two- I rage at Mrs. Yid for a good minute about what kind of arrogant doofus has the chutzpah to call himself "America's Rabbi"-- because like Highlander, there can be only one-- and that someone should really find some way to legally prohibit him from doing this anymore.

Act Three- I get a tingling sensation in the "idiocy storage" center of my brain. I wonder where I've heard such an egocentric, grandiose title used before. I do a little poking around my bookmarks and find this guy-- John Hagee's pet Jew, Aryeh Spero, who calls himself, what else, "America's Rabbi."

Epilogue: I cross my fingers that Shmuley and Spero hear about each other and decide to solve their copyright dispute in one of two ways: A, a giant lawsuit that exposes both to be giant gasbags to the public and financially compromises them so they can't spend as much of their resources being bozos, or B, they challenge each other to a charity Krav Maga match (or for those purists of you out there, Abir).

Hey, I wonder if one of them can pass for Sephardic. Then we could follow Israel's example and have two Chief American Rabbis. To the victor goes the silly turban!


Antigonos said...

I can't take seriously any adult who calls himself "Shmuely", a child's diminuitive name. There is a type of Orthodox Jew who never grows up and remains "Heshie" or "Hymie" or "Shloimie" to his dying day.

Tongue in cheek dept.: one of the books I'm going to write, when I eventually retire, will be called "Malky and Shloimie in Search of the Giant Talking Mitzvah Knaidel". [If you think I'm joking, there IS a book called "Savta Simcha and the Shabbos Umbrella" for kids].

But then again, if Boteach used his proper name, Shmuel, I don't know that I'd take him more seriously.

Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

You're taking him far too seriously.
Is the guy into grandiose self-promotion? Of course! That's how he makes a living. Being modest and God-fearing doesn't pay the rent.