Sackcloth: Hugh Downes says it's the latest craze

For thousands of years, Jews have worn sackcloth as a sign of mourning. Amos and Jeremiah reference it when they talk about disasters that will befall the Jewish people. You know, big-deal ones, like the destruction of the Temple, exile, etc.

But what about parades?

I sat down with these two prophets for a round-table discussion.

FY: So, guys- sackcloth and parades. Thoughts?

Amos: What?

Jeremiah: Did I hear that right?

FY: Yeah, parades. I mean, being scattered and dispossesed is bad, but aren't parades awful, too?

Amos: Um...

Jeremiah: I think it depends on the context. We had parades in the Bible, you know.

Amos: The whole 'Exodus' thing was kind of like a parade.

Jeremiah: No, stupid, there were no floats, so it doesn't count.

Amos: *grumbling* The Ark was kind of like a float.

FY: Guys, guys, that's all very interesting, but what about a parade celebrating a sin?

Amos: Like tax fraud?

Jeremiah: Draft dodging?

Amos: Disrespecting your fellow Jew?

Jeremiah: Child molestation?

FY: No, not anything like that. It's a gay pride parade. In Jerusalem.

...

Amos: Oh.

Jeremiah: Well, you know, we aren't big fans of that.

Amos: Yeah, the big guy has some strong feelings about it. Don't ask me why.

FY: But is it a "mourning" worthy occaison? In the same category of losing a relative or a national disaster?

Jeremiah: Is it on Shabbat?

FY: I don't think so.

Amos: Did they get a permit? All nice and legal?

FY: Yeah.

Jeremiah: Are they using violence to get what they want? Are they trying coerce people into being like them? Are they turning people gay?

FY: Well there was one place in Tel Aviv, but aside from that...

Amos: Pssht. Tel Aviv. Who cares?

Jeremiah: Yeah, screw Tel Aviv. What are frum people doing there anyway?

FY: So no sackcloth?

Jeremiah: Let me put it this way- ashes and sackcloth are an indication of mourning. If you really think that these guys' parade is that awful, then go ahead.

Amos: But compared to actually horrible things that have happened to the Jewish people...

Jeremiah: Exile. Second Exile. Jewish War. Repression following the Bar Kochba revolt. Inquisition. Crusades. Cossacks. Holocaust. Stalin. Munich Olympics. Mel Gibson's Passion...

Amos: ...I have to say, this whole thing just seems silly.

Jeremiah: Once you've seen Ten Tribes dissappear into the ether, you start to get philosophical about this kind of thing. It becomes a little harder to get worked up about the small stuff.

Amos: Also, sackcloth looks stupid.

And there you have it. Thanks to the Prophets for stopping by, and I hope you'll all be sure to check out their new spoken-word album, "Straight Out of Nineveh".