Saturday, December 02, 2006

*Plop*

Man, the Jackass Lake is getting more full than a Jerusalem mikveh on "Wet Tallis Katan" night.

Rabbi Levi Brackman has a bit of really torturous logic. See if you can find the part that gave me an aneurysm (and right after I had made my keyboard milchig, too!):

Recently I had a conversation with a secular Israeli academic, who said to me that being Jewish is a genetic state and our common connection is the fact that Hitler would have gassed both of us. I find the notion that my identity is defined by Hitler rather offensive.

It's no more offensive-or racist- than telling converts they don't count because they weren't born into the tribe.

In fact, it arouses defiance in me. For the first time I realized why so many secular Jews in America choose not to marry Jewish. The more one dilutes the Jewish gene through intermarriage the less one is able to be defined by an evil man such as Hitler.

That is a stupid strawman and you are a moron.

One may argue that our connection is our common heritage and, although this is a major factor, in the age of globalization it is becoming less and less important to people. I posit that the most important common factor among Jews is in the here and now. Jews have a religion in common – Judaism.

Which has taken zillions of different flavors and dimensions over the several thousand years it's been kicking around the planet. Just because you don't like the latest incarnation doesn't mean you get to write them off.

The fact that I can go into any synagogue in the world and pray together with the quorum in a familiar manner, that we all keep the same Shabbat and the same dietary laws, believe in and study the same Torah, have faith in the same God, is what binds us.

Sorry? Don't you mean the same Orthodox synagogue? Oh, I get it- you're already taking Amar's lead and ignoring the existence of the non-Orthos. Nice. Also helps the argument.

The second one takes the religion out of the equation and we are left with an awfully troubling question: What unifying factor do we as Jews have? In fact, without religion, the desirability of living in Israel is severely challenged as well. Who wants to live in a country, Israel, whose whole existence and definition are shaped by a genocidal dictator?

That is still a strawman, and you are still an idiot.

So if we can agree that it is Judaism that defines and unites us as Jews, the question arises: Who defines Judaism? Liberal and Reform Jews may reply that it is Jews who define Judaism; tradition, however, would suggest that it is the Torah and God that define Judaism.

Its mighty easy to win discussions and achieve "agreements" when you're only arguing with yourself. And I like how in Brackman's world the Torah and God have been directly programmed into frummies' brains, presumably via some sort of divine flashdrive or file-sharing mechanism, without any messy human intervention. Come on, Levi. Even if God dictated the Torah at Sinai, Moses was still WRITING IT DOWN.

Whichever way one puts it, the majority of religious Jews in Israel are Traditional and not Reform, Conservative or Liberal; thus, Judaism in Israel, a democratic country, is defined by Traditionalists such as the Sephardic Chief Rabbi.

Let's get this straight: The majority of Jews in Israel are secular. Of the religious MINORITY, the majority are traditional (and the haredim are a minority of them). So rather than have the MAJORITY be represented by Israeli Judaism, it should instead be represented by an unelected lackey of a minority of a minority?

*Blood spurt*

And what's with this appeal to democracy anyway? Like Levi would really change his opinion if tons of Reform and Conservative Jews immigrated and became the religious majority? I doubt it; instead we'd be hearing about how "the majority of real religious Jews are Traditional". What BS.

It does not seem unreasonable for his office to say that they want to rule on this definitively religious matter. Although I have sympathy for those converts whom the Israeli authorities will not accept as Jews, yet denying these authorities the right to decide who is and who is not considered a Jew undermines the Jewish status of Israel and causes the entire character of the Israeli state to fall even further into question.

Yeah, oh, and El Al deciding they want to make up flights for inconvenienced passengers ALSO totally undermines the Jewish status of Israel, too. Just ask Elyashiv. Not only that, it gives a victory to Hitler. Why do you love Hitler so much?

Separating Traditional Judaism from the state of Israel would in essence transform Israel from a Jewish state into a secular state defined by Hitler and run by Jews. Is this what Jewish leaders in the Diaspora really want to see happen?

Actually, I think they'd prefer for you to grow brains, stop the bullcrap and pay attention to the real arguments for once. Levi, you're a real yutz, and as soon as I learn Aramaic, I'm totally going to curse you with a Godwin deNura.

Edit: Those of you who check out the Elyashiv link will note that the picture of him closely corresponds to the artist's depiction offered here. Let it never be said that the Friar doesn't pay attention to details.

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