First, Henry Lamb claims that "there must be some yet-undiscovered gene in the DNA of people who feel the need to control others. Kings, mullahs, tyrants, despots, dictators and Democrats are all afflicted with this malady."
Off the top of my head, I can think of four problems with this:
A- Not all royal rulers are necessarily evil despots (I've noticed a lot of evangelicals seem to have a giant hard-on for King David).
B- The Democratic Party has only been around since 1828. Where was this controlling gene before then?
C- Republicans don't like to control people? Which party is trying to stop abortions, preach abstinence only education, and ban gay marriage? Are you seriously going to tell me that the reason you can't buy sex toys in Alabama is because of "controlling Democrats?"
D- Political affiliation isn't really determined by genes, hence the timeless cycle of children pissing off their parents by rebelling and doing the opposite (c.f. my Republican Uncles).
Had enough? I thought not. It gets better. Check out this crack by Mychal Massie:
People voted for Obama out of hatred for President Bush, opposition to the Iraq War and a nebulous promise of change from a liquid-tongued salesman selling empty, feel-good promises.
But the majority of Americans are Americans first. And somewhere imprinted in our DNA there still remains the resolve of our forefathers to be independent and free.
American DNA? Really? Where can I find some?
Massie's idea is actually a fairly entertaining thought experiment. Let's try to put it into action:
- Massie is a crazy conservative.
- Pat Buchanan is also a crazy conservative. (I guess they have the same, non-Democratic genes.)
- They are both Americans.
- Therefore, one can logically deduce that they share the same proud American DNA. So simple, so clear, so right.
Only one problem.
This is Pat Buchanan.
And this is Mychal Massie.