Anyway, it turns out I now have another reason to like ninjas- sort of. A Slate op-ed faithfully chronicles the longstanding relationship between Jews and ninjas- a covenant, if you will.
The Israeli affinity for ninjas makes sense when you consider that ninjas are basically supercool Jews. Both practice esoteric traditions that must be kept pure or they'll lose their power, both wear black outfits, and both can destroy much larger and more numerous opponents. The main difference is that while observant Jews spend a lot of time praying, observant ninjas spend a lot of time hiding and killing people. The most financially successful ninja movie produced by Cannon, Firstenberg's American Ninja (1985), featured Michael Dudikoff as an assimilated ninja who has forgotten his traditions and only defeats his enemies when he rediscovers his heritage. Its trailer, preserved on YouTube, allows you to taste its exquisite pleasures.
While I think this tortured comparison is very awesome indeed, I can't help pointing out that there are plenty of observant Jews that hid and killed people- King David, the Maccabees, WWII Partisans, Nachal Haredi, and of course our favorite nutcases. Come on, Slate, do your research. Or I'll hire one of those super-rabbis to go after you.
Hmm... maybe this finally explains that weird Eisenberg quote where he claims some Satmar once broke up a Chabad parade through Williamsburg by beating them with nunchucks.
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