Abir Strikes Back

Oy, the joys of comments. For the first time ever, I myself have been the subject of a fisking. And not just any fisking, but a particularly spastic, angry letter to the editor-style one. Let's get right to it.

BS"D

B’siyata d’shmaya, or Aramaic for "for the sake of heaven." This guy's either quite pious or thinks he's an extra in the Passion. Off to a good start.

To friar-yid / ignorant-yid / personality assasin-yid / G-dless yid:

What up, bitch?

Pardon my bluntness, but you are one of the the most cynical jerks I've seen on the internet.

Thanks! I know there's a lot of competition this year, and it's an honor just to be nominated.

I will answer your pathetic attacks not for your sake, but for the benefit of your innocent viewers.

All five of them? Score. I wonder if this lashon hara blog can get me any other perks- maybe free samples of Brookstone merchandise. Not for my sake, of course, but so they can correct any misconceptions I might spread among my innocent viewers.

In the Talmud it's written, "if you want to lie, be sure the witnesses [to the matter] are far away."

The Talmud also says lice spontaneously generate from sweat and that pi = 3. Just so we're all clear.

I and others are witnesses to things that make it impossible for slanderers like you to get away with your squeaking lies about the Aluf Abir's Yemenite heritage, his skin color, and his holy warrior art tradition.

This should be good.

As a student of Abir, I have repeatedly seen members of his family coming to see visit mori Yehoshua and see our training. They are as Yemenite as can be, and resemble him in the family's distinct traits. (Are you claiming this is staged? Masks and all? Let's see your family--maybe people should start question your Jewish ethnicity, frie-yid.)

I'm saying that these Sofers and these Sofers don't look a damn bit alike, which is mighty suspicious considering the Yeminites in the picture are supposed to be Sofer Sr.'s brothers. That's a hell of a genetic drift. I know Yeminites have multiple wives but I'd be surprised if you can get from cafe-au-lait to bleach in the same generation. Incidentally, I'm highly curious as to what "distinct traits" you're talking about. They both have hair? Draw your own conclusions.

By all means, feel free to question my Jewish ethnicity; it'd be refreshing to hear that we're something other than the standard Pale 0'Settlement stock. To be fair, I had a g.grandfather who was olive-toned. But we didn't go around saying that that made him a Salonikan Jew or a Khazar.

I have had the priviledge to personally view old photographs of the Aluph Abir's ancestors. One of the most precious is on the wikipedia site. Let's see pictures of your ancestors. Can you prove your pedigree? If you can't, no one else can? Why can you not accept that there are families that preserved these things? I personally know a few.

What's to prove? I haven't made any claims about my ancestry. You mean can I prove who my grandparents and great-grandparents were? As a matter of fact, I can. Even better, we actually look alike.

As a Habbani Yemenite Jew, mori Yehoshua` has a tradition of tying tephillin according to a tradition of hoary age, spelling out G-d's Name in k:thav da`atz (aka "Paleo-Hebrew")--an 'alaph-beth' (alphabet) lost to the rest of Jewry. They also have a sword tradition based on these letters. We know that with the exception of the Leviticus scroll from Qumran, this 'alaph-beth' has been entirely out of use and nearly forgotten by the entire Jewish world until the rise of modern scholarship... So how did the Habbanis know and use these letters, unless they are descended from an relatively isolated clan that preserved them from antiquity? Were they university-trained archaeology buffs back in Habban, 70 years ago?

Dunno, how did the super-isolated Habbanis get their hands on Rashi script to incorporate into their moves, especially if this ancient martial art is supposed to have been handed down untouched from the days of Joshua and Abner? And maybe the issue is not questioning the authenticity of the Habbanis themselves, but the connection between them and the Sofers.

(Whatever language your ancestors preserved, you use this one [English] to slander and deride a Torah scholar and denigrate a holy ethnic group of my people.)

We can't all speak Aramaic. (Or, in the Zohar's case, fake-Aramaic.)

I have met and questioned a few Yemenite Jews of different backgrounds--none of whom knew about Abir in the slightest

HANG ON- this ancient, Yemenite art is super, duper authentic, but no one you talked to had ever heard of it? Fantastic.

I found that NON-Habbani Yemenites have traditions about their long-haired, sword-wielding, fearless cousins. I met one such young man, an Israeli Yemenite of Bal`adi ancestry, waiting in a long line together, just two weeks ago: He recounted a living memory of the Habbani's warrior prowess, passed down to him from his grandfather. He told me the Habbanis bore the ancient art of Israelite tribes, "but you should know that it no more. It doesn't exist anymore." (When I asked him, this young Israeli had never even heard about Abir, or mori Yehoshua'. He couldn't know how much his innocent mistake gave a true historical context to the Abir family history.

So, again, the fact that there is such a legend and history and that, according to everybody who's asked about it, these guys don't exist anymore is proof of Abir's authenticity... how?

Let's think this one through:

A- There are Greek legends about giant one-eyed guys called cyclopses.

B- No one has seen a cyclops in thousands of years.

C- My friend says he is a cyclops. He happens to be of average height and has two eyes like everybody else, but still, he says, he's a cyclops. It turns out that the one-eye thing refers to some third-eye chakra or something, and that he's descended from cyclops midgets, but it's still legit.

D- No scholars, historians, or community leaders in Greece have ever heard of my friend and cannot verify his claims.

E- This proves my friend is a cyclops.

Yeah, that's some iron-clad logic there.

An elder member of a far branch of the family in Hevron, who had no knowledge of the Aluph Abir, told us a similar story about the family's past, particularly about his great-grandfather. A mighty warrior, who took on a small army of 400 Arabs singlehandedly. Again, having no prior familiarity with the claims of the Aluph Abir, his independent story supports the historical context.

Actually, no. It proves the family tells tall tales about themselves. What IS interesting, if the connection can actually be verified, is that it demonstrates that other people in the Sofer family have this mythology- if indeed the story is authentic.

One thing is considered historical fact to anyone who studies the subject: the Habbani Jews were formidable warriors.

So were the Vikings, Visigoths, Napoleon and Genghis Khan. Were they martial arts masters, too? Hey, maybe Erik the Red was part Habbani. That explains everything.

(What stories will your descendents tell about you? That you spread ignorant lies about the Banei Abir of Hadramaut before a world audience?)

Hey, beats being a drunk with a Messiah complex (all apologies to my grandfather).

The Adenite Habbinis are the lightest colored Yemenites, being mixed with `Iraqi Jews from the North. The Jews of Al Baidha with whom the Jews of Habban frequently married, were particularly fair. Besides that, the Aluph Abir's grandmother of blessed memory was Ukrainian. Just as there are Ashkenazim who are much darker complected than white Sefaradim like myself, the Aluph Abir is a light-skinned Habbani.

Except that in the old picture, ALL the Sofers are dark-skinned. And the Ukrainian connection seems fishy- here Abir claims that Nachman Sofer (a Yemenite?) was gang-pressed into the Russian army on a pilgrimage to the Breslover's tomb. So the Yemenite grandfather married the Ukrainian grandmother (who was a descendant of Nachman, supposedly), and became a Breslover, then went on pilgrimage to the Pale (not too far a schlepp) where he was kidnapped by the Czar for five years, but it wasn't all wasted, because he learned wrestling and jujitsu? I guess that's a hell of a story, if it's true.

The Aluph Abir is fluent in Yemeni Arabic. I've witnessed his fluent conversations with local Arabs, yet his Arabic has a distinct quality to it. This native fluency is not something a non-Yemenite could pretend. Having been born and raised outside of Yemen, he is more naturally and authentically 'Yemenite' than any Israeli Yemenite I've ever met.

What the hell does that even mean? What criteria are you using in your Yemeni authenticity index?

Even more than my attacks on Mr. Sofer's ancestry, this guy was particularly offended by my baseless slanders against the Abir system itself, especially insinuations that it's actually Kuk Sul Won with the names changed. A few of his points:

3) The continual, fluid, dance motion in Abir, rooted in a spirit of pure, simple joy and humble surrender of one's will before G-d. As opposed to the arrogant focusing of one's own energy, common in other forms, the Abir warrior strives to become a perfect vessel of Divine Will, and a conduit of the energy of Creation. (SOUND REMOTELY SIMILAR TO KUCK-SOOL? DON'T THINK SO.)

I don't happen to know a damn thing about Kuk Sul Won. Do you? Anyone that does is free to chime in here. The surrender of one's will to be a perfect vessel stuff BS sounds fairly mainstream Buddhist to me, though.

4) A fighting system devised of the distinct shapes of an ancient alphabet. A tradition from time immemorial, the Hebrew warriors fight according to the distinct, sacred shapes of the modern and paleo-Hebrew letters. No other system is comprised of anything like it. (IS KUCK-SOOL ALSO BASED ON THE HEBREW LETTERS?)

You have ZERO evidence that anything this guy is telling you about this stuff is true, either about Abir existing before, OR his version being an authentic continuation of it. For all you know he got ideas for his moves off the back of a Chinese Coke Can. Why not have a Kuk Sul practitioner check out some of Sofer's combinations and see if there's any resemblance?

5) A received tradition from the Abir's ancestors through the ages is a repeated cry of praise to G-d that punctuates our workout: "Adonenu, Borenu, YoSrenu, Rophenu!" "our Master, our Creator, our Maker, our Healer!" These and other Hebrew call-and-response cries between the Abir trainer and warriors-in-training are entirely unique in the world.

And of course, it's not like you could have CHANGED the call-and-response cries from one thing to another thing. I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

Although I have not studied Korean art forms, I know that Kuck Sool Wan is a modern, more diverse form of Hapkido. A general adaptation of the fighting arts of Northeast Asia (Japan Korea, China), with a Korean approach.

So you don't have enough information to challenge the comparison, other than the fact that it makes you feel sad. For what it's worth, I'm sorry I'm hurting your feelings.

...More importantly, as an element of the practice of Judaism, it a way of life.

Tell that to the millions of Jews, now and throughout history, who have never heard of what you're talking about. I'm sure they'll be very interested to hear that they've been doing it wrong.

Claiming that Abir is built on a Kuk-Sool base is like saying that because Yemenite Arabic was his mother tongue; when the Abir speaks English or Hebrew, he must be grafting those languages onto a base of Arabic grammar... How ridiculous--he is fluent in a few languages!

That being said, know that "Abir" was Grandmaster Sofer's first fighting language and the only one that ever mattered to him.

Really? So his 7th degree black belts in Kuk Sul Won and Hapkido, his 6th degree black belt in TukGong Musool, and his 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do were what, just part of a really good cover? Sort of like Elijah wandering the countryside or the Lamed Vovniks that can't reveal themselves yet? I guess I have to admire his willingness to waste so much of his time with those fake languages.

Your pitiful, snooty comments won't change the truth: He studied those other forms against his will.

Uh huh. And kept taking the tests against his will, and kept becoming regional director of those other forms (World Kido Federation, Hanminjok Hapkido Hae, Korea Kuksool Association). And of course, training countless students in those other forms, including Israeli, Arab, and Ukrainian special forces. How his mighty heart must have broken, knowing he was teaching them a foreign and arrogant focusing of their energy, when there was, had always been, a better way!

HOWEVER, HIS FATHER AND GRANDFATHER FORBADE HIM TO REVEAL THE ART until he would become at least Dan 7 in one other fighting form, become recognized as expert in several other diverse forms, and reach the age of forty.

So it was sort of like a Kabbalah thing. Gotcha. Hey, question, why didn't his father or grandfather reveal it?

As immigrants to West, they understood that the Abir massorah would need to contend with a world of competing martial arts to survive. They wanted to ensure the next torch bearer could adapt the art to the modern world accordingly. Just as Hebrew needed to adapted to fit the needs of the 20th century.

Or, more accurately, like Kabbalah was totally strip-mined and made devoid of any actual content, context or meaning by shilling, popularizing hucksters like the Kabbalah Centre.

In conclusion, let's look at a likely source of frier-yid's cynicism: DISBELIEF IN HIS OWN PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO PRESERVE SUCH AN AMAZING TRADITION. Another source of his cynicism is unfamiliarity will all the Torah sources--spanning Bible, Mishnah, Talmud, Midrash, and commentaries that prove the preservation of our fighting traditions throughout the centuries.

I read the Wikipedia article and the Abir page. It looks like Abir is cobbling a lot of different sources together into a very flimsy patchwork, trying to represent themselves as part of an illustrious tradition that, at best, was probably a lot more decentralized, disorganized and sporadic than they'd like to admit. To say nothing of how accurate their claims to be directly descended from it are. Furthermore, most of the sources given, at least on Wikipedia, seem to be about Jewish armies throughout the ages, not Jewish martial arts. And my sources tell me that qashath, which Abir claims is the "Hebrew weaponless martial art" actually means bow. Well, I'm sure that's almost the same thing. But hey, let's be open to compromise; maybe the original qashath, the Abir-system ancestor, was something like this.

By all means, though, if you have sources, let's see them.

However, if a new article reported the discovery of a hidden fighting tradition among the !Kung Bushmen of Namilia that stretched back 10,000 years in time, would 'friar-yid' and his ilk would speak out with such venom?

I have an ilk? Awesome!

For the record, in the case you give, I'd be similarly amused and skeptical. However, because I have zero knowledge or interest in your hypothetical tribe, my attention and energy focused on it would likely be fairly low. The amount of legitimacy that Abir is getting, which it does not seem to deserve, and the sheer ludicrous nature of its presentation, is a large part of my "venomous response."

Or is it only Jews that get such treatment by him? In general, given our Western "ethos of the 'noble savage'", half-naked primitives get the benefit of the doubt as to the hoary age of their traditions.

Uh, by passing himself off as a descendant of an isolated (read, untainted) tribe of desert Jews with arcane secrets (which he's conveniently deigned to share with you for a limited time only), Sofer is totally tapping into the noble savage trope.

Yet, when news of a 3,000+ year fighting tradition is revealed among Jews of a remote Yemenite clan (well-known for their prowess in war) the same people shake their head in disbelief. Jews are only supposed to bear traditions of old languages, books, and Gefilte fish.

Klezmer and math are also acceptable.

You sir, owe the Aluph Abir Yehoshua` Abner bin Awal Sofer al Habbani a public apology, as you do his ethnic community, and the Jewish People.

Here are the conditions under which I would be satisfied that Abir is authentic, and thereby offer an apology: Have Sofer and his family (especially his blind, sword-wielding father) beat me up, while simultaneously showing me a DVD of how Kuk Sul Won masters would beat me up, so I can accurately tell the difference. Also, they should be cursing me out in both Hebrew and Yemeni Arabic call-and-response. Also, there needs to be at least two witnesses. Or we can podcast the whole thing, I guess.