Wednesday, April 09, 2008

O'Shmuckface is losing it

Poor Bill seems to be losing his touch.

Evidence, you ask? Observe:

A few weeks ago, Bill is oh-so-outraged about a stupid "Hunky Jesus" contest going on in SF. First Bill establishes just how mad he is:

Now, we're going to segue from Judas to Jesus in our favorite town, San Francisco, which despises any remnants of Christianity or Judaism or any organized religion on Easter Sunday.

Really? News to me. I bet it would be news to these guys, too. Oh, and them. And them. Don't forget them. And them, too. And someone should let these folks know. (Now, these guys might agree with you. But probably not.)

And that's just the Jews. News flash, Billy. There are THOUSANDS of churches, synagogues, mosques and temples in SF. And not that I was keeping count, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of them were full on Easter, too.

Anyway, just when I started anticipating Miller jumping on the "yeah, this is awful" bandwagon, there was a refreshing change of pace:

MILLER: I say that whatever covenant I have with God — and I assume most people do — it's not impinged upon by moron homosexual guys having parades in San Francisco. My sanctum Santorum I set the cover charge. Idiots don't get in. And if they want to do this, fine. Nobody should get involved except God. If God wants to smote them, if he's still in the smoting business, he should. Other than that, it matters not a twit to me. These guys looking for a gay parade theme every week.

O'REILLY: Tell me the truth, Miller. I want you to answer this question truthfully.

MILLER: I am telling you the truth.

O'REILLY: Wouldn't you love to see all of these people turn to salt? Wouldn't that be just great?

MILLER: I don't know, Bill. It's just — it doesn't matter to me.

Aww. That had to hurt. I hope no one docked Miller's check for that.

It gets better. Last week Bill had some more guests- clueless liberal apologist and unhinged whine-master, to talk about how awful TV has gotten. His target? Oprah and that transgender man having a baby. As usual, Bill's main argument boiled down to the fact that he thought this was "icky."

O'REILLY: Jane, what do you think?

JANE HALL (Fox News contributor): Well, you know, I don't -- I think it is something of an oddity I suppose Oprah's women audience would love to know what a man being pregnant actually feels like, thinks like. You know, I don't consider it as bad as all the interviews with pimps that we saw after the Eliot Spitzer scandal. I mean, the man hasn't done anything immoral. He's done something very odd, and that's what they're cashing in on. But I don't think --

O'REILLY: Right, but if your 13-year-old is watching --

HALL: -- it's the same category.

O'REILLY: Do you want a 13-year-old watching this kind of stuff, and you've got to explain all this crazy stuff? Do you want that?

This is always the fallback position: "I don't want my kid seeing this, because then I have to explain it." As if that somehow justifies any idiotic position. I don't want to have to explain evolution to my kid, therefore don't show any documentaries on Darwin in his school. I don't want to explain interracial marriage, so don't show my kid any pictures of Barack Obama.

HALL: I'm more bothered by stuff that looks pretty darn pornographic. This looks like a medical oddity. I would say it's not as bad as some other stuff.

O'REILLY: All right. So --

HALL: That's all.

O'REILLY: -- neither of you are upset about this.

Don't you just hate it when your guests turn out to not give a crap about your fake-outrage-topic of the week?

GOLDBERG: Well, I don't think it's good. I think it's one more example of how crummy television can be, and frankly, more than television, the whole culture. You know, a guy -- she's born a woman, she becomes a guy, but she still has ovaries and a womb. She marries some guy and she has a baby --

O'REILLY: She married a girl.

GOLDBERG: -- marries a girl.



O'REILLY: It's hard to keep track, Bernie. It is.

No, it's not, schmuck. Thomas Beatie was a woman. Had gender reassignment surgery. Became a man, with one key difference. Got married, is now pregnant. And Goldberg playing the media prude is ridiculous, too. Considering all the other crap that makes the news- including Fox News, this one (couple gets married, has baby) is downright wholesome. Or would be, if you didn't view the fact that trans- and gay issues make any story morally tainted. At least Beatie isn't getting media attention for sleeping with whores, being a druggie or flashing his crotch to the world (but somehow you're all protected from the fact that you beam that crap into everybody's TVs with O'Jackass' caveat, "I don't care about any of this.")

O'REILLY: You imagine a poor kid getting born into that family going, "Hey" --

GOLDBERG: Now that's --

O'REILLY: -- "whoa. Who are you today?"

GOLDBERG: That's the real tragedy.

No, the real tragedy is that you morons get paid to say this crap.

1 comment:

Sam said...

Yeah, it's disappointing that Joe Scarborough is the new Bill O'Reilly, at least as far as awful reactions to Thomas Beatie.