Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Stupidity comes full-circle

Q: What's the worst thing that can happen to a terrorist organization?

A: Having someone ignore you. Or even worse, stealing your credit. Or in this case, assigning it to someone else.

It's time for another imagined conversation:

Zawahiri: Hey, Mahmoud. Gotta talk to you about something.

Ahmadinejad: What's up, Ayman? How's the big BL?

Zawahiri: He's fine. We've got the cave set up pretty nice.

Ahmadinejad: Well tell him I say hi, and if he wants to drop by Tehran anytime, we'll be sure to stone him for being a Sunni infidel .

Zawahiri: Will do. So look, about this rumor you've been spreading for seven years that the Jews did 9/11...

Ahmadinejad: Isn't it awesome? I really hate Jews.

Zawahiri: Oh, definitely. And us too, don't get us wrong.

Ahmadinejad: I mean, they're just so schem-y.

Zawahiri: And weird looking.

Ahmadinejad: Those giant noses of their really piss me off.

Zawahiri: And their stupid beards. And glasses. And those silly hats. And did you ever notice how they're always pointing their fingers at you? Sooo annoying.

Ahmadinejad: Then we're agreed. The Jew libel shall continue. No amount of blogging will save their image.

Zawahiri: Well, here's the thing, though. We put a lot of effort into that thing, and to just give all the credit to the Jews is kind of, well, asshole-ish of you.

Ahmadinejad: I don't understand what the big deal is. You killed a bunch of Americans, we blamed the Jews for it, a bunch of wackos on the Internet took it and ran with it. Triple-word-score, brother!

Zawahiri: Yeah, well, we still feel you guys should set the record straight.

Ahmadinejad: Look, why are you being so
Jewish about this? Just share the wealth, what's the problem.

Zawahiri: We're not being Jews, YOU'RE being Jews! Taking something that didn't even belong to you in the first place and handing it out to someone else. You're being a real Jew, you know that?

Ahmadinejad: No one calls me a Jew and gets away with it, you Sunni bastard. Why don't you go elect a Caliph or something?

Zawahiri: What are you going to do about it, you Shia dingus? Shoot a nuke you don't have at us? Or are you be too busy looking for your hidden Imam?

Ahmadinejad: No, even better. I'm going to write a letter to George Bush... and blame it all on Jerry Falwell.

Zawahiri: Nooooo!

Ahmadinejad: Have fun watching THAT on Al-Jazeera, "Rabbi."

*Click*


And... scene.

1 comment:

Jack said...

I have often wondered what would happen to these yahoos if no one published their B.S.