Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Now what, Lazer?

This from the other day from our esteemed Rav Captain Crunch:

Ok, let's think this one through.

1- God pissed at secular Israel- leaders and voters, presumably. Particularly since they're anti-Judaism, anti-God and anti-Torah. Got it. Good to know.

2- God uses his exalted agents of change, Hezbollah, to bitch-slap his "favorite" kid out of some bizarre expectation that this will make the Jews stop their evil ways and get their asses in shul. Got that guys? Just think of the Katyushas as "tools of the Lord"- angels on wings of... motherfucking rockets.

3- God prevents the IDF from winning the war to humiliate the Israelis and demonstrate how putting faith in Israel's leadership or military is idolatry. Pwned, Dagon- I mean, Amir.

Ok, fine. I get all this. It's completely bonkers, but let's go with it.

... What's God trying to tell us with this one, Lazer?

The Israel Defense Forces reported that about four mortar rounds were fired inside southern Lebanon after the cease-fire, which went into effect early Monday. But none of them hit Israeli territory...

What's this supposed to mean? Is God losing his touch? I mean, what the hell are the Jews supposed to get from that? This doesn't sound particularly threatening- in fact, it's downright counterproductive! This casts doubt on Hezbollah's military capability and suggests that God might be considering lifting his curse over the land and leadership! Israel's good luck MUST stop now! Its very soul is at risk!

Needless to say, I'm sitting back with baited breath expecting the latest communications from Rabbi Brody's maggid. Stay tuned.

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