Time's relative in yahoo-land

We all knew Lazer Brody lived in a place where logic has no meaning. Apparently he doesn't care much for time, either.

Rav Lazer, responding to reports that Israel is receptive to the idea of Germany being part of a possible international force being deployed as peace keepers to the Israel-Lebanon border, gets his peyess in a tizzy.

Olmert, like a bull in a fine-china shop destroying everything in its path, took the verbal insanity a step further. While welcoming the participation of German soldiers in a stabilization force in South Lebanon, he said, "There is no other nation that Israel considers more of a friend that Germany!"

The blood of 6,000,000 Jews cries out of the ground. The memories of survivors who haven't had a decent night's sleep in the last 61 years testify against you, Mr. Prime Minister. You have no right to speak for Israel, for we don't agree with you, with your ego-sick anti-Torah leadership, with your plans for withdrawal from Jewish lands, or with your expression of love with Germany. Here's why, in case you don't remember:

German soldier publicly humiliating Polish Jew by cutting off his beard in public, 1939

Are you willing to call the Germans our best friends? Do you believe that the sons and grandsons of Amalek have changed their skins? I certainly don't; I'm sorry to say that I've been to Germany a dozen times - they're still Germans.

Brilliant, Lazer. Sins of the father and all that. Clearly, any Germans in the region will have nothing on their minds other than finding the nearest batch of pesticides to drop into a bomb shelter. Come on. Germany has been a close ally of Israel for decades, (there are over 100 Israel-Germany sister cities) and consistently backs it at the UN and EU, to the point that it has been singled out for attack by Iran's President Wackjob. Even Begin finally backed off Germany when his job demanded it.

At four o'clock on the afternoon of Holocaust Memorial Day, 1981, Prime Minister Menachem Begin entered the Knesset cabinet room to welcome 30 top-ranking leaders of the United Jewish Appeal [now the United Jewish Communities].... Irving Bernstein, the indomitable executive vice president of the UJA...bayoneted into the prime minister to ask, "Tell us, Mr. Begin, how the memory of the Holocaust influences your attitude toward Germany today."

For the briefest moment Begin stared balefully back at Bernstein. Burying his face in his hands, he whispered between his fingers, amid an astonishing silence, that the subject was deeply emotional for him.

"I have a special attitude concerning what the Germans did to our people," You see, I know how my mother, my father, my brother, and my two cousins - one four years old, one five years old - went to their deaths."

..."I live with this. It colors everything I do. I will live with this until the day I die."...he remarked with renewed composure, "But now, baruch Hashem - thank God - we have the means to defend ourselves. We have Israel. We have our courageous Israel Defense Forces.

"And because we have Israel and the IDF, can there be no pardon, ever?" asked Bob, a lively fellow from Denver with a southern drawl and sparkling blue eyes. "Doesn't there come a time when we have to put the past behind us?"

"No, Bob, I can't do that. I shall never forgive the German people. Every German I see of that generation I think to myself - for all I know, that man murdered my father, my mother, and our little children. And when I speak of my father, I speak of all the fathers. And when I speak of my mother, I speak of all the mothers.

..."The Germans bear collective responsibility for a horror the like of which has not been known since God created Satan. So long as that embodiment of all evil - Adolf Hitler - brought them victories, they hailed him. When his fortunes declined, they began to turn their backs on him - a little. So, no, I will never shake the hand of a German - never!"

"But what do you do when you have to officially shake a German's hand?" asked a middle-aged lady in a flowery frock, named Charlotte.

"Oh, then it is quite a different matter," Begin reassured her. "As prime minister I have to fulfill my official role. When the German foreign minister, Mr. Genschar, was here recently I received him with courtesy, and we talked of many important matters."

If you seriously think Israel's biggest worry right now is Germany offering to help it defend its border, you might want to upgrade to a higher yarmulke size- this one seems to be cutting off brain circulation. Should a UN force be accepted automatically? No, it's something of a gamble- but not because "ze Germans" are involved. Damn. And that "sons of Amalek" crap is getting old- Olmert is a bona fide "Hebrew", and that doesn't seem to be helping him get on your good side. I know, maybe he's descended from Korah! (Oh wait, so was Samuel the prophet. Damn.)

Oh, and nice Godwin toss-in. Putz. Nothing like exploiting the Holocaust for political purposes. Obviously that's what Yad Vashem's for. Then again, if it's good for the Anti-Disengagement folks, I guess it's good enough for Lazer.


But wait, there's more!

I don't want to go into a military or strategic analysis of what's transpired until now. That's not my task. Also, looking to pin the blame on the government, the ministers, the intel community, or the military leadership also serves no purpose.

There's only one factor to blame - Hashem.

Hashem won't let Olmert and Peretz succeed, no matter what they decide. Hashem gives Nasrulla and his henchmen the power to keep on truckin' those Katyushas. Why? Hashem wants us - as a nation and individually - to make tshuva.

And he's willing to kill as many Jews as it takes. There's a word for that, Lazer- ASSHOLERY. I thought we were supposed to reject human sacrifice, right? We're more evolved, light unto the nations, yada yada? Or is that just Reform narishkeit? Where's my ceremonial dagger? No, not that one, the good one, with the deerbone handle and the cool blood grooves.

Hashem gives Nasrulla power to serve as a whip against Israel. Tshuva is the spiritual weapon that can defeat Nasrulla. Trying to defeat the Hizbolla without tshuva is like trying to defeat Hashem - sorry, it can't be done.

So might makes right? Then why not follow the Romans or the Greeks? Wasn't the whole Maccabee lesson supposed to be about overcoming odds and sticking up for yourself?

Your God is helping your enemies kill you and you're saying the answer is to suck up to him. I'm no Torah scholar, but that sounds like some serious BS to me. At LEAST whip out some Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev class-action suit action on his ass.

[For the non-initiates (from Dershowitz's "Genesis of Justice")]:

The most famous post-biblical example of chutzpah against heaven was the eighteenth-century master Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev, who repeatedly invoked God's contract in challenging God's injustice towards his covenental partners. On one occaison he threatened to expose God's promises as "false". On another he sued God and threatened to refuse to cooperate with plans to keep the Jewish people in exile.

If it's all the same to you, Lazer, I'm with the Berditcher on this. Hold my calls.