A bit of humor that actually works

In googling examples of religious-responses-to-being-angry-comparisons just now, I came across something that was actually kind of amusing (if you don't think about it too much).

Muslim Riots Spread to Amish, Hare Krishnas, Jews, Others

The French Muslim riots, caused by an uncontrollable reaction to poverty, racism, and a profound sense of alienation from the larger society, have recently inspired some American groups who share very similar grievances, to use mass violence as a means of gaining recognition and respect.

As low income also immediately translates into uncontrollable violence, the first American neighborhoods to start rioting were the Chinatowns. Realizing that Chinatowns are among the poorest parts of the country, community leaders have encouraged the use of violence to raise the material wealth -- and self-esteem -- of the residents.

... When a waiter in San Francisco's Kum Kau Kitchen tossed hot oil at a pair of dining Jehovah's Witnesses, the other low-pay kitchen employees dragged them out and hung their charred carcasses from a nearby lamppost. "Their poor understanding of English left them no choice other than to kill their customers," mused one of the nearby business owners who cheered their actions. The kitchen manager explained, "Everyone else protests here, so why can't my waiters?"

The reaction of the Jehovah's Witness community has been one of understanding. That is, understanding that they too are victims -- not only of Chinatown massacres, but of society at large. Frustrated with their conventional missionary methods, they turned to wanton destruction of property and the assaults on anyone who was not a Jehovah's Witness. They torch cars, toss bombs at baby carriages, and assault roller skaters -- beating them, and then suffocating them with copies of Watchtower magazines. As a Watchtower spokesperson explained, "Violence has been in our blood since the days of Charles Taze Russell; when we cannot persuade others to convert peacefully, we perform ritual slaughters. Is it too hard to understand that when you are living amongst sinners, you must kill them?" As a result, for the first time in history, the ACLU has officially declared support for a Christian group.

...Taking their lead from the frustrated youth of France, the Pennsylvania Dutch have "found their voice" by burning hundreds of cars in Lancaster PA over the last few nights. The violence has also spread to Bird-in-Hand, Hempfield, and Intercourse, with attacks on police and the looting of 7-Elevens. A few horse-and-buggy details have even gone to Philadelphia, where they expressed their rage in the Philadelphia International Airport.

...According to leading media experts, the feeling of being excluded inevitably translates into violence against others. That is why, apparently, from Brooklyn to West L.A., Orthodox Jews have been on a week-long rampage. Their methods vary, but a common technique is for a dozen youths to cruise through suburbs in an oversized van (or "mitzvah tank"), looking for a brawl.

"They f***ed with my people, so this is payback, see?" says one youth who calls himself Shlomy. "So these motherf****n b****es gonna have their motherf****n p*****s f****d, sh*****d and b***d-h**d by my motherf****n h****s *** ******, know what I'm sayin?" His friend, "Yussie." chimed in, "It's called Jewish law, mother*****r. I tell these b*****s. you don't know what my people went through, so you just shut the f**k up and open up cause I'm gonna f**k you up, b***h."

Indeed.