Wingnuts, part 2

Anyone ever hear of Zion Oil? No? Then have I got a story for you, courtesy of a 2 and a half year-old Hal Lindsey column. (For the benefit of the ADD-afflicted, I'll paraphrase the boring parts:)

Once there was a small nation named Israel. Israel had a lot of problems- its people kept worshipping idols and had trouble staying in line with what its priests God wanted, so every once in a while the priests had to slap the people around a little. Sometimes they used special people called judges to help defend them against outside enemies. Sometimes they used kings. And sometimes the Israelites just got their butts kicked.

Eventually, the second kingdom of Israel came around, and there were still problems. One group that liked to hear the sound of its own voice was the prophets, a group of malcontents and holier-than-thous who constantly castigated the Israelites for, well, being jerks. But every once in a while they stopped sniffing their crack pipe and prophesying dire destruction or alien abductions, and would deliver some good news, like, "if you do what we God says (for a change), you'll be prosperous! You'll get nice things like goats, cattle, and other agricultural products! Even olive oil!"

The Israelites liked this. Olive oil, in addition to being yummy, was also somewhat expensive, and generally signified wealth (as it did for many Mediterranean societies).

But then, thousands of years later, a group called the Protestants came around. They decided they didn't need to learn Hebrew (King James' banker was Reform), and that they would come up with their own translation of the Bible, which wasn't very accurate. They also ignored, rejected, and sometimes burned all the Jewish commentary of the Bible they could get their hands on. This made for a very confusing document, but the Protestants didn't mind, particularly as they were too busy killing each other, as well as everyone else, to pay much attention.

Enter Hal Lindsey. Hal, would you care to take it from here?

At just this time of world turmoil being brought about
by OPEC, I believe we are about to witness another one of those miracles
promised to Israel. What if Israel were to strike oil? This certainly would make
them wealthy. More than that, it would change the political balance of power in
the Middle East.

A man named John Brown – without much more than his faith – has put together an oil company and purchased leases in a specific place in Israel. It is a in a location that is very much a part of some important prophecies in the Old Testament. He founded the Zion Oil and Gas Company as the result of studying prophecies God proclaimed to two of the sons of the Patriarch Jacob.

...Joseph is a fruitful bough, a fruitful bough by a spring ... By the God of your father who will help you, And by the Almighty who will bless you with blessings of heaven above, Blessings of the deep that lies beneath ... The blessings of your father have excelled the blessings of my ancestors, up to the utmost bound of the everlasting hills. They shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him who was separate from his brothers.
– Genesis 49:22, 25- 26

Note that it predicts his great blessing will come from "the deep that lies beneath" his land. And specifically on "crown of his head." The land that was allotted to Joseph's two sons forms the profile of a man's head.

Now listen to another prophecy about the blessing of another of Jacob's sons whose land adjoins Joseph's. Moses proclaimed blessings on Jacob's sons just before he died. He predicted concerning Asher:

Asher is most blessed of sons; let him be favored by his brothers, and let him dip his foot in OIL.– Deuteronomy 33:24

The land allotted to Asher looks like a leg with a foot. Its toe points straight at the crown of Joseph's head.

Zion Oil's leases are directly under where Asher's toe points. Coincidence? If it were anywhere other than Israel, I would say it is merely coincidence. But here we are dealing with a nation of miracles in the crosshairs of God's prophetic Word.

At this moment, Zion Oil and Gas is selling stock in order to finish its first well. It is right in the center of an area that geologically looks promising. I believe the main reason others have failed to find oil is that they did not drill deep enough.

Investment in oil exploration is always a big gamble. But, I believe this is a gamble worth taking for the sake of Israel. Besides, I believe God's Word is giving some pretty good clues here.

Of course, Hal was correct. It wasn't just a coincidence- Mr. Brown had specifically chosen that location after consulting his Bible, and, just like Hal, deciding that "oil" could only refer to crude petroleum. Of course, it's been almost three years now and Zion Oil has yet to strike it rich, but that's probably just due to something else. Maybe God is punishing the board of directors for something, like a lack of faith, or religious bigotry, or nepotism.

Personally, I'm looking forward to when they uncover a major deposit of Quaker State.

P.S. Check out Hal's handy-dandy map. Note the captions.