Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Tzinus!

Blacks to the back of the bus. Well, "black" women, anyway.

Every year before Rosh Hashonoh the editorial board of the Hebrew Yated Ne'eman pays a visit to Maran HaRav Yosef Sholom Eliashiv shlita, who closely oversees and guides the newspaper throughout the year, setting aside valuable time to issue instructions, answer questions posed by the rabbonim of the Vaada Ruchanit.

This is usually when we beg him to not ban us.

At this year's visit as well, the members of the editorial board sensed his concern for the paper and the importance he attaches to it as the mouthpiece of Torah-true Jewry — a shofar calling for unadulterated truth.

A menorah to illuminate the dark corners of the universe, a grogger to drive away the evil spirits of the Englightenment, a tallis to cover up sex scandals, a... well, you get the point.

During the course of the conversation HaRav Eliashiv shared his concern over the present and future of the Bais Yaakov system, mentioning the Education Ministry's pressure to require a third year of studies for seminary students. During the past year Maran issued instructions to stand firm against the decree...

More education? What gives? Teacher's don't need education, man! It's not like a butcher or a mohel.

Still HaRav Eliashiv said the matter of continuation courses for Bais Yaakov teachers must be rectified. "It is unconscionable for future teachers of girls to take all sorts of advanced courses when there is no oversight or guidance by gedolei Yisroel over every last detail regarding what is taught and what is not taught. Without oversight and setting the study arrangements and curriculum, heretical material is liable to make its way in. How can somebody who absorbs these kinds of studies then teach bnos Yisroel?" said Maran with deep concern. He also said he does not know how this has gone on unchecked for so many years.

Yeah! In fact, why do we even bother teaching them the same alphabet? Back in the old country, women didn't even get taught Hebrew, only Yiddish! I know, let's make them take all their courses in Esperanto (phonetically printed into Chinese). That ought to keep them cloistered!

According to the Education Ministry, teachers who have passed their courses are better qualified to teach, added Maran, but we should see this in a totally different light. He said every teacher who has taken or takes advanced courses under the current circumstances is actually at a lower rank in terms of her ability to teach at Bais Yaakov and therefore school principals and parents should give preference to teachers who have not taken these courses.

Brilliant. It's just like I was telling my friend David Hasselhoff- you think that getting lifeguard certification makes you qualified to swim, but it actually makes you less qualified to swim. And why? Because I just said so, bitch, and it's my newspaper. Besides, swimming is stupid, just like higher education.

Oh, incidentally, Yated- there was nothing about buses in this article. Freudian slip, maybe? Sorry, sorry- I know, he was an apikores. Hmm... 'Eliashivian' just sounds silly... oh well, I'll work on it and get back to you.

The new tznius-war isn't just over the minds of haredi women, but also their bodies. Haaretz reported on a one-man Haredi "Vice and Virtue Squad" which Emes Ve-Emunah rightly identifies as downright Taliban-esque.

Why can’t these people just get a life? Why do they need to interfere in the lives of others? Why, according to him and those rabbinic leaders whom he represents, must we seek to live like the Taliban? And why should our precious resources be wasted on this nonsense?

Because that's when the wars start, silly! (Incidentally, how do we know the Hezbollah war didn't happen because of Tel Aviv bikini-wearers? Where's Lazer when you need him?)

Oh, speaking of good laughs from Yated-

Torah Judaism Embraces Both Faith and Reason

It sure does. Too bad Rav Eliashiv doesn't.

Thus, in describing his purpose in presenting a series of television programs (on PBS, entitled "Bill Moyers on Faith and Reason," which we read about), Bill Moyers describes "the tug of war between reason and faith."

Uh huh. They "read" about a freethinking goyish reporter talking about his TV show, and thought they'd just share it with their readership? SUUUURE. These guys better watch out that somebody doesn't send the Jew-liban to search their house.