Blow it out your ear

The latest in religious coercion from Israel. Holocaust survivor dies, wants to be cremated. His haredi first-cousin once removed files a lawsuit to stop it because it made her feel uncomfortable. Since there's no law against cremation in Israel, the judge told her to shove it. Well, at least we got to hear fun rhetoric about how cremation is evil. This from Yona Metzger, arbiter of all that's kosher and proper:

"[Cremation] awakens difficult and bitter memories from the darkest period in Jewish history, the Holocaust, during which millions of our brothers, scions of the House of Israel, were led to the crematoriums by the evil Nazis and their helpers," the statement said.

"Ever since, cremation has been etched in the collective memories of all Israelis, and Holocaust survivors in particular, as a sign of the attempt to annihilate Judaism and the Jewish people."

I know, let's ban tattoos and short haircuts, too. And striped shirts while we're at it. Better yet, we can follow the haredim's example and burn them all.

Best line of this fracas:

"The law recognizes no other way of disposing of a body other than burial," said Schussheim, who claimed he was contacted by representatives of Yad Vashem who, he said, voiced interest in joining his petition against cremations. He said he did not remember the names of these Yad Vashem representatives.

Hmm...

So now what? One of UTJ's freshman MKs has submitted an amendment to the burial law to forbid cremation in Israel. Great. Hey, people are already going to Cyprus to get married, maybe they'll be cremated there too. Sheesh.

Edit: Apparently MK Cohen isn't as dictatorial as I originally thought; it seems that the caveat is "illegal unless there's a signed and notarized will". Well, at least that's something.

Also in Israel news: Rabbi Mordechai "Fake Bomb" Eliyahu called abortion providers murderers, this despite the fact that traditionally, Jewish law has not seen abortion as murder, nor fetuses as having the status of people until birth. Quoth the sage:

“Why is it okay to kill fetuses that have a heart and a soul – because an ‘advisory committee’ decided that it is okay to murder fetuses?” he told a magazine published by the Ma’ayanei Hayeshua movement.

“In Egypt there was also an advisory committee that decided that is permissible to bathe in the blood of Jewish babies.”

Just the kind of reasoned debate we've come to expect from the Barbie-smashing rabbi.

El Al airlines finally reached an agreement with the Chief Rabbinate- it will agree to keep the Sabbath, and can only break it if it gets the ok from rabbi Amar (that is, assuming he isn't busy beating up more of his daughter's boyfriends). Haaretz writes:

If the rabbi is not convinced there is an emergency situation that justifies the violation of Shabbat, and the airline chooses to proceed with the flights, this action will be perceived as a violation of the agreement.

Now, yes, this might sound like medieval blackmail, but at least the rabbis didn't get everything they wanted:

However, El Al said some of the rabbinical committee's main demands were not accepted. Among them were the demand for a veto-wielding rabbi who would rule on company decisions, as well as specifying sanctions against the airline in case the agreement was violated.

Criticism was voiced regarding some of the ultra-Orthodox interlocutors, and El Al said the crisis could have been resolved three weeks ago.

MK Avraham Ravitz (UTJ) concurred, saying the negotiations involved persons who were not familiar with the "nature of negotiations."

Other demands rejected: Shatnez-tested carpeting, leather cushions removable for Yom Kippur, Glatt-kosher bottled water, burka tznius-attired flight attendants, electrified mechitza separating men and women (and the first class from those slobs in coach).

The airline has, however, promised to look into getting local artists to paint fun reflective artwork on the windows to simulate Ezekiel's LSD chariot experience (point for the Breslovers!).

What else, what else- oh, some Shas MKs discussed magic and charms in their political philosophy. Money shot:

Rabbi Isaac Batzri, whose father, Rabbi David Batzri, is a world-renowned Kabbalist, couldn't have agreed more with Idel's recommendation for the second Lebanon war. In fact, he told the panel that Defense Minister Amir Peretz met with him and his father recently to discuss IDF operations.

"Actually we told him that the dates he chose for the operation had been completely unsuitable for the war, so it was not surprising how we fared," said Batzri. "If [Peretz] had met with us before the war, we could have told him that in the Jewish faith there are days for everything."

Oy, oy, oy.

And lastly, some have accused me of only going after Haredi faults. This is not true. I go after jackasses, and a lack of posting about any one group usually suggests either ignorance or a lack of time on my part, not any real agenda. To try to amend this perception, I offer this: Kadima sucks; more corrupt than Likud. You know, I really hate haredi corruption, but at least it's going towards feeding, clothing and (arguably) educating their millions of kids. I don't see any UTJ MKs flashing any "bling" around (though I suppose they could be hiding some precious jewels or platinum hairpieces under those yarmulkes). What is Tzahi Hanegbi spending his ill-gotten gains on?