Timing

A few nights ago O'Reilly was rambling about Saddam and suggested that the proximity of Saddam and Ford's deaths were intended as divine object lessons. After commenting that he "believed in God" (instead of chance, I guess?), O'Reilly commented, " No accident that Ford (good) and Hussein (evil) died within days of each other." Then he used the opportunity to wank off on how Americans keep blurring the lines between good and evil, especially in the case of Bush. Nixon flunky Ben Stein chimed in saying the liberal media had "crucified" Ford back in his day.

So let's see, Ford and Saddam died within four days of each other, so it must be a sign? That's pretty impressive, Bill, but what about all the other people who died in December, or even these first few days of January? Aren't their deaths worthy of at least some bizarre pseudo-scrutiny? You've got the Malaysian Snake King, CNET's James Kim, the first guy to break Pearl Harbor to the world, the founder of Atlantic Records, the makeup artist on Forrest Gump, a supposedly big-wig Taliban guy. Plus James Brown, the Dad from Everybody Loves Raymond, the Pabst brewmaster, AND the former Governor of Tokyo (and comedian), who probably had the funniest case of myelodysplastic syndrome you ever did see.

And let's not forget the fogeys. Once again, the oldest woman in the world has died (noooo!). Even worse, the oldest man in the U.S. (second-oldest in the world) died too. Now the titles have gone to a Canadian and a Puerto Rican. We're not even in the running anymore! How the hell can there be a contest where Americans don't win? How does your "God" explain that, Bill?

Oh, and they were both black. So I guess the real question is, why does God hate black people?

Hey, this talking out of your ass stuff is kinda fun.