Fox & Friends leave their brains at home

Steve Doocy and the asshat judge from Fox & Friends & random blond bimbo number five were bitching about the Democrats and decided to mention for the umpteenth time that Robert Byrd is, well... Robert Godamn Byrd. And rather than talk about anything the guy's done in the past, say, forty years, they go back to the Klan thing when he was 24. "This guy is three heartbeats away from the Presidency. If Bush goes, then it's just Cheney and Pelosi and then..."

And then what, idiot? Then all the Jews get shipped to camps and Byrd lynches Ellison on the House floor? And you have the audacity to compare this to Trent Lott's "joke" four years ago? "Yeah, they made him resign." Hmm, maybe because he just said it in 2003, as opposed to being a racist moron in the 1940s- which Byrd has apologized for, repeatedly. Don't get me wrong, you can still criticize him, but let's see some parity- what did Bush spend his 20s and 30s doing?

And frankly, if we're going to fret about whose psycho agenda is more likely to get us all screwed, I'm worried about Dubya's personal communications with the Lord a hell of a lot more than Robert Byrd's possible repressed memories of joyful cross burnings of decades past. But that's just me.

Then lady Bimbo forgets what side her bread's buttered on and decides to strike a blow for feminism- "why is it that we're talking about what Pelosi's wearing? We would never be having this discussion about Dennis Hastert."

Doocy- "Thank God! Am I right!"

Bimbo- "Seriously, though. What's with this double-standard?"

Doocy- "What are you talking about? I'm just saying, she looks nice. She wore those really pearls and this... look, it isn't red, or blue, it's a plum power-suit. Doesn't that look great?"

Judge- "And she had it custom-made, no less. Look, Bimbo, I think it's reasonable that Americans expect women to put more effort into their appearance, and we notice that."

Doocy- "Yeah, and it could be worse- we could be talking about Hastert's looks!"

Judge- "Yeah, I mean, are you saying that if Hastert wore a 5000 dollar suit to his swearing-in, we wouldn't be talking about it?"

Bimbo- "Absolutely."

Judge- *scoff* "Well I guess that just tells you something about the difference between men and women."

Doocy- "Something else I bet Pelosi might be annoyed about- the lady's room is all the way at the other end of the building!" *snicker*

Poor girl. I'm sure between commercials they tied her down and beat her with a wooden phallus named Rupert. Respect the patriarchy, girly, or you won't get no air time.

I swear, that man and his other cohost are some of the most infuriating bozos on that channel, and that's saying a lot. I mean, at least O'Reilly has the balls to say the stupid shit he thinks, instead of being a catty bitch about it. "Did you see her pearls? No, no, they look nice."

Between this and Tucker Carlson rambling yesterday on MSNBC about how Pelosi's requisitioning a specially-designed hybrid car, AND that she said she was the most powerful woman in the country... (and going on about John Kerry's recycled Christmas cards) you can tell these guys have absolutely nothing to talk about. On what planet is this news?

I mean, bitching about the woman's necklace? Christ. Isn't there some news happening somewhere? Please?

Oh right. World still fucked. But that would violate Fox's "good news only policy", except when referring to Dems. And it's not like we can expect Fox to really do any research. Don't worry guys, maybe another famous American will die soon and you'll be able to take another week off from reading anything (ow, ice-cream headache!)