Monday, January 01, 2007

The Miracle of Prayer! (Maybe?)

Pastor D. James Kennedy of the festively-named Coral Ridge Ministries is recovering following a major heart attack. WND seems to be using the incident as an opportunity to tout the benefits of prayer:

Dr. James Dobson, founder of the Colorado-based Focus on the Family, said:

"It has been my honor and pleasure to know him not only as a broadcasting colleague and a gifted pastor, but also as a dear friend for the past 30 years. He has been one of the nation's most powerful defenders of righteousness, never wavering from the eternal truths of Scripture. His voice is still vitally needed in this country and around the world. We are asking the Lord to restore the health of this good man, and to be with Anne and the rest of the Kennedy family during this challenging time."

...

Coral Ridge Senior Producer Jerry Newcombe, who has co-authored many books with Kennedy, told WND another Presbyterian minister visited Kennedy and read scripture to him – to which he responded strongly.

In fact, on the Reformation 21 website, a blog of the Alliance of Confession Evangelicals, Rev. Richard Phillips posted the following:

I want to thank everyone who is praying for Dr. D. James Kennedy. His condition is improved, though very serious. I spent a good deal of time with him today, praying and reading Scripture. He recognized me and was clearly responsive, although his condition remains very serious. Please pray for continued improvement and a full restoration to health. I was able to assure him of the prayers of many Christians and he was able smile in response.


Yeah, prayer always works. Just look at the Pope- JP II was old, sick and about as functional as Ariel Sharon, then people prayed for him, and now he's a world-famous break-dancing champion. Or, if you're not a fan of the one true Church, we could go with a Protestant example- say, praying for the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade. Hey, I'm all about the nonviolent protest. Good luck with that one, guys.


Readers might remember good ol' D. James from back in August. I'm betting the D stands for Darwin.

Oh, and if you're looking for a good time with the kids, see if you can catch a repeat of Coral Ridge's latest family-friendly brainwashing experiment:

This Sunday's "Coral Ridge Hour" will feature a special documentary titled "What If Jesus Had Never Been Born?"

Hosted by Kennedy and filmed in Europe, South America, India, and the United States, the program consults scientists, historians, philosophers, and theologians to weigh the impact of Jesus on the last 2,000 years. It shows how the rise of science, mass education, a high regard for human life, hospitals, charity, representative government, and the elevation of women can all be traced to the impact of Christ and his followers in the last two millennia.

"We're going to tell the truth – withheld from most Americans for the last half century – that Christ has been the greatest benefactor to the human race that the world has ever known," said Kennedy.



Hmm. Man makes documentary shoving Jesus in everyone's face. Man has massive heart attack. Could someone up there be trying to make a point? (Probably not, but theodicy is always fun for a laugh.)

Lazer Brody is back with more bones to pick, and this time it's with doctors. Apparently doctors without faith are incapable of practicing medicine properly. As proof, Lazer interviews some mysterious anonymous doctor who just so happens to agree with every Beams talking-point:


LB: From your standpoint, does emuna [faith] play a role in medicine?

Dr. S: It sure does, not only from the patient's angle, but from the doctor's angle. My atheistic colleagues are blind to their own deficiencies. It's literally impossible to cure without the Creator's help.

LB: Are you saying that for my benefit?

Dr. S: You know me better than that. A physician that doesn't recognize that he or she is a mere messenger of The Creator is probably arrogant and ineffective. Even worse, he or she is dangerous.

Funny, I would have argued that it's the person convinced that their decisions are sanctioned by God has the potential to be just as dangerous. What if some religious doc gets it into his head that God wants him to pull an Abraham?

LB: Does that explain the recent scandal in an Israeli hospital where 12 doctors were arrested for experimenting on patients?

Dr. S: That and more. A physician with no emuna believes he has the right to give and take life, especially for the advancement of his own career and/or bank account.

LB: What type of experiments do they perform?

Dr. S: A surgeon may try a totally experimental procedure on a patient with no firm family backing or round-the-clock supervision, such as a neglected old person. If he succeeds, he gets fame, money, and a write-up in a medical journal. If he flops, they bury the patient and nobody cares. That's why you people are problematic.

LB: What do you mean?

Dr. S: Haredi patients are usually surrounded by a bevy of caring children and grandchildren, with representatives of the Haredi community that keep an eye on doctors. Most doctors won't toy around with a patient that benefits from strong family and community support.

Got that? Secular Israelis are Mengeles waiting to happen, and being haredi, preferably with more children than socks, is the only way to protect yourself. Maybe some kollel students can start renting out their kids as bodyguards in hospitals.

LB: So the lonelier a patient is, the more vulnerable he or she is to experiments?

Dr. S: Correct.

But what about all my invisible friends?

LB: What do you have to say about antibiotics?

Dr. S: Use only as a last resort. We don't give the body a chance to repair itself. Many drugs destroy the body's ability to fight disease on its own. Nevertheless, I want to stress that when somebody has a strep throat with 104 F. fever, then you zap them with antibiotics - there's no other choice. But, I don't give antibiotics for the flu (unlike many of my colleagues that give antibiotics for anything), because they do nothing against viruses.

Well at least he isn't pulling a Tom Cruise- yet.

And for the first worst metaphor of the new year:

LB: What's your opinion on Ritalin for kids?

Dr. S: Do you ride horses, rabbi?

LB: Whenever I have the chance...

Dr. S: Then you know that a spirited horse is sometimes hard to break in, but once you do, you have a good mount. Giving a hyperactive child Ritalin is like drugging a horse instead of training it. No, I believe that caring and dedicated teachers don't need Ritalin solutions.

Funny, I have some friends who would drastically disagree with you. Then again, maybe they just need more oats and some new shoes nailed to their feet. Has anyone seen my spurs?

Lazer also has a follow-up with some thought-provoking insight, if you're a horse, or possibly a reincarnated rooster.

Ask yourself one simple question: Does your doctor really care about you? I'll give you the answer - if he or she has emuna - a strong faith in Hashem - then the answer will be yes. A physician with emuna considers himself or herself a messenger of Hashem, and therefore feels tremendous responsibility toward the soul (yours!) that's entrusted in his or her hand. On the other hand, a doctor with no emuna won't have any fear of Hashem or of hurting his fellow man; his or her game is looking out for #1, and #1 doesn't refer to the patient. Comprende?

¡Hola Lazer!

Una pregunta. ¿Qué está equivocado con usted? ¿Es su yarmulke en demasiado apretado? ¿O trata la barba de comer el cerebro? Also, since when does your doctor treat the soul?

Lazer also reprints a letter from a friend advertising a woman who managed to get rid of her own cancer with natural herbs. Maybe next week Lazer will interview this guy. Cracked-out, kinda paranoid, swindling people with bad advice? Sounds just up his alley.

Oh, and Sultan Knish calls for Christians and Jews to cut the crap on the Christmas Wars. Seems reasonable (though I'm still not exactly clear what ''side" you consider yourself on, SK).

No comments: