Friday, March 17, 2006

Dennis Prager: Jew-Pope

The old saying, "two Jews; three opinions" is generally fairly accurate, and not the least because (at least through my interpretation) a lot of Jews can often put themselves in the shoes of others, thereby having at least a few opinions of a lot of issues (I certainly do, in relation to the Middle East conflict, for instance).

But none of that for our dear Rav, Dennis Prager. He's got an issue, (well, a lot of issues, actually), and the simpler, the better. So it's time to play one of the Friar's favorite games, What's Wrong with You?

Setting what may be a new record, Prager manages to set up a series of oversimplifications and false dichotomies in just under two sentences, implying that secularism and liberalism automatically run hand-in-hand, and furthermore, that one must either be secular or religious. (What about people who are religiously Reform? No? No takers?)

Ah, but now Dennis has shown a good start- apparently there are "various groups" that make up Klal Israel. Well, at least groups has an s. That's somewhat more pluralistic than Prager tends to be (actually, I guess "us" and "them" does count as two...) Prager, ever the lover of the dumb-down, divided Jews into two categories (shocking!) : "Those who identify as Jews and those who do not."

Fine. Fair enough. Seems pretty sensical, even. Let's see where he goes with this.

"The latter may be called "non-Jewish Jews," a term coined by an early 20th-century Jewish radical, Isaac Deutscher, to describe himself."

Why non-Jewish Jews, as opposed to non-identifying Jews? Ah, of course, my mistake. Clearly, since one guy once described himself that way, surely it makes it a legitimate term. Just like how some people called Jesus "King of the Jews", so it's ok to call Dennis by that name, right?

Dennis Ha-Nasi continues, by saying that examples of NJJs are... go on, guess. That's right, COLLEGE profs! "Examples are the many college professors who have Jewish family names but who do not identify in any way with the Jewish community or religion. As we shall see when attempting to explain Jewish liberalism and leftism, their lack of identity -- often complemented by an antipathy to American national identity -- helps explain most of their social and political views."

Yup. Liberalism is caused by lack of identity and antipathy to Americanism. And Jewish liberalism all the more so. Got that, Michael Savage? Apparently it IS a disease, and we can all thank Dr. Dennis for his brilliant diagnosis.

On to the second category. Jews who identify as Jews- JiJs. Notice how these guys have "identify" in their little blurb. Funny, huh? Apparently, JiJs are pretty cool, and even secular JiJs, though "intellectually inconsistent", are still somewhat acceptable to King Dennis- after all, they helped found Israel.

Dennis goes on to give a fairly decent break-down of the 3 major Jewish movements (though he can't restrain himself from giving a small ding to Reform Judaism- which is funny, considering he attends a Reform shul.) Finally, D-dog ties his grand analysis together: the reason this is all important is that all the big bad liberal Jews you, the non-Jewish, conservative reader hears about so often, controlling the banks media and Hollywood and sucking the blood of Christian children support away from the President, are the NJJs! Got it? They aren't really Jews at all!

"A disproportionate number of powerful figures in these professions and in academia may have been born to a Jewish parent, but most of them have no Jewish identity and they surely do not work on behalf of any Jewish interest."

And Prager thereby invalidates the Jewishness of any liberals he disagrees with. Well-done, your Holiness.

A final parting shot at the NJJs: "given the influence of non-Jewish Jews on society... it is fair to say that a Jewish revival among Jews is in both the Jews' and humanity's interest." That's right, the only way to save Hollywood from Jewish liberals is to have them all become B'aal Teshuvahs and make rebbe bio-pics. Or to move to New Square and be replaced by neo-cons (who, luckily, seem to make Prager's Jew-cut. What a coincidence!)

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