Monday, April 30, 2007

Recent searches

- "Friar Yid." At your service.

- "Satmar April 13 2007." A day that will live in infamy. Something involving the rebbe's ghost, no doubt.

- "Buckner Brothers." Not too bright.

- "Meir Gross New York NY." I had a cousin whose last name was Gross. His dream was to open a restaurant where he could be head chef. He was going to call it "Gross Foods." Strangely enough, this never got off the ground.

- "Jerusalem Essene Lag B'Omer." Nothing says fun times like getting a haircut without washing your hands.

- "Question Game for Lab Baomer 2nd grade." Why on this night do we light things on fire? And whose bright idea was it to combine a pilgrimage holiday with bow & arrows?

- "Twelve-year old boy decapitating American spy video." I heard about this. I'm not a fan.

- "Passover Observances Ripping Toilet Paper." Look, I'm just going to come out and say it. Either you can eat cardboard for eight days, or you can pre-rip toilet paper so you don't rip on Shabbos. But it's really unfair to make people do both, especially since following the first one necessarily means you have to do much, much more of the second one. Can the new Sanhedrin work on this?

- "Religious Jews Bleach." Is this bleach kosher for Passover? I'm afraid that my Shmuley might drink it and thereby accidentally eat kitniyot (may it not happen for 120 years). Oh, it's certified Tablet K? Sorry, we don't hold by them.

- "Sayed Imam Abdul-Azziz el-Sharif." Wrong blog, dude.

- "Demonizing the Mentally Ill Virginia." You know what really demonizes the mentally ill? Discriminating against them by denying them their constitutional right to carry a gun. At the very least, they should get a sling and very sharp rocks.

- "Yid." I find that offensive. Maybe they tolerate that kind of language over at Heeb or Kike-Monthly, but not here, dillhole.

- "David T Friar Mac." This sounds like the worst rap duo over. Even worse than the improv troupe that once came to my high school to teach us the importance of recycling and looking both ways before we crossed the street.

- "Lazer Abir." I have a forthcoming post about Abir. I have a source on the inside who's going to help me break this whole stupidity wide open.

- "Will Farah." Joseph's younger, hopefully significantly less douchebaggy brother. You've seen the rest, now try the best. Try our new, mustacheless model!

- "Robert Spencer Inaccurate About the Crusades." Pretty much. I perused one of Spencer's books in a Barnes & Noble once. He seemed to suggest that the Jews and Muslims had that whole getting-massacred-by-Crusaders thing coming, which makes me suspect he has his head up his ass. Not to be biased or anything.

- "Tremoglie Change the Culture Save Some Lives." Because unlike Conservatives, Liberalism would be happier if we were all dead. Just like on that bumper sticker I saw.

- "How Christians Are Treated Within the RIAA." I'm going to assume that the RIAA treats everybody like dirt regardless of whether they're stealing Christian rock or the newest pearls of wisdom from Jeff Foxworthy.

- "King Harold and Masada." Few people know that the actual site of the Battle of Stamford Bridge was Masada. This has long been covered up, but thanks to a new documentary by the History Channel, "Harold or Chaim? The true story of Masada," this will all be revealed soon.

- "Original Aish Nude Poses." Just when I thought the Internet couldn't get hotter.

- "Bobover Toilet Paper." What is it with you people and the shit jokes? Get a hobby.

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