I'm not a fan of Israel's overzealous incitement laws that result in honest folks like R. Nati at Mystical Paths being hauled in for questioning, or lovable nutso Tzvi Fishman getting arrested at a protest rally for HOLDING A SIGN. I don't agree with much these two guys say, but police harassment is always disturbing and it's another reason Israel consistently gets on my nerves (to say nothing of my prospects of making aliyah anytime... well, ever.)
On the other hand, Tzvi's time in the lockup seems to have done wonders for his writing. Just look at this hilarious post.
I am declaring myself a national leader. To this end, I am establishing a new political party that will be constituted, at the very beginning, by Americans who have come on aliyah. The Jews who came to Israel from Europe, and the Israeli generation that followed, have made a mess of things. Today, the country needs the idealism of the Jews who gave up the comforts of America to take a part in the building of Israel. A little good old fashion “American know how” can go a long way in cleaning up the mess that the Zionists, Pseudo Zionists, and Post Zionists have made.
Yes, apparently Tzvi is finally putting his money where his mouth is, and throwing himself beard first into the rough-and-tumble world of politics.
Check out his platform:
*All Arabs must leave the Land of Israel.
*Any Israeli politician who voted in favor of Oslo or the Hitnatkut [Disengagement], or who promotes the Road Map Plan, will be brought to trial as a national traitor.
*Relations with the United States shall be suspended until Jonathan Pollard is freed.
*All atomic facilities in Iran will be immediately destroyed.
*Any missile launching on Israel will be met with a devastating retaliatory attack.
*Anyone who propagates leftist propaganda will be deported from the country.
*All missionaries will be tried in court for kidnapping and murder, and crucified on the Mount of Olives.
*The judges of the Supreme Court will be replaced by rabbis who will judge all cases according to Torah law.
*TV and radio will be shut down on Shabbat. Driving on Shabbat will result in license suspension.
*Women who dress immodestly will be fined. Repeated offenders will be imprisoned.
*All non-medical abortions will be forbidden.
*No woman will serve in the army.
*All secular newspapers will be shut down.
*Israeli television will be run by a board of rabbis, and Arutz7 will be the only authorized Internet news service.
*All computers will be equipped with anti-pornography filters.
*Teacher’s salaries will be doubled.
*Massive funds will be allotted to promote aliyah, and all Jews who refuse to immigrate to Israel within three years will forever forfeit their right of return.
*Haredim will donate the funds to rebuild Gush Katif, and they will do all of the hard labor or face imprisonment.
Wow. Some good stuff here, and I'm glad Tzvi had the presence of mind in the midst of such important issues like creating Haredi chain gangs to work the Gaza strip to remember that the root of all evil is digital boobies.
I really liked the comments to Tzvi's list, particularly from RW-activist Daniel Pinner, who thinks Tzvi's gone off his nut:
There are many legal, ethical, and halachic problems with your platform:
1) "Anyone who propagates leftist propaganda will be deported from the country." Define "leftist": if someone promotes social welfare, socialized medicine, or the environment, will he be deported?
2) "All missionaries will be tried in court for kidnapping and murder, and crucified on the Mount of Olives." Without a Sanhedrin there is no death penalty; Halacha never uses crucifixion as a death penalty; and unless someone has kidnapped or murdered, he cannot be executed for these crimes.
3) "Driving on Shabbat will result in license suspension." And if someone has to drive to hospital/police in a life-threatening emergency? And if the driver is not Jewish, but a ger toshav?
4) "Women who dress immodestly will be fined. Repeated offenders will be imprisoned." Define "immodestly" - showing their wrists? Displaying their hair? Both eyes? If a woman's hair is uncovered, will she have to show proof that she is unmarried? And where oh where in halachah do you find a source for imprisoning a scantily-clad woman?!
5) "All secular newspapers will be shut down." Including Time, Newsweek, Economist? Including "Ha-Shavua bi-Yerushalayim"? Including "Eretz" magazine? What about an honest, right-wing, nationalist nespaper? What about a viciously anti-Israel religious newspaper (one put out by Neturei Kharta, for instance?) Who defines "religious"?
6) "Arutz7 will be the only authorized Internet news service." How do you propose to enforce this? Why do you want to ban Steven Shamrak, Rotternet, etc?
7) "All Jews who refuse to immigrate to Israel within three years will forever forfeit their right of return." The most outrageous of all. For a Jew to live in Israel is a Torah-ordained mitzvah, and no Jew has the right, under any circumstances whatsoever, to prevent another Jew from making Aliyah. This is equivalent to saying that any Jew who has not kept Shabbat and kashrut for three years will be forever forbiden to keep them. How do you feel about that one, Tzvi?
8) "Haredim will donate the funds to rebuild Gush Katif, and they will do all of the hard labor or face imprisonment." Why only Haredim? All Haredim? And how do you define "Haredim"? Do you include Habad? National religious who wear black kippot? Those who wear black hats on Shabbat and t-shirts the rest of the week? Yourself?
One final point, Tzvi: If merely spending a few hours under arrest qualifies you to be a ntional leader, then there are thousands of people more qualified than yourself - Rabbi Arye Deri, for example, or Omri Sharon.
Daniel's right. Al Capone for Prime Minister!
I personally like the idea of an American olim party. Tzvi said he wants ideas for a name, and I'm always happy to oblige:
- United Jews of Israel
- Israel the Beautiful
- The Star Spangled Tallis Party
- The Benei Liberty Party
- The Yesha-Crats
- The Nativists
- The W(h)igs
- Uncle Shlomo Wants You!
And my personal favorite...
- The Yankel Doodles.
Add your suggestions here. I'll be sure Tzvi gets them.